Posted on

When Gender is the demon……… #GenderDysphoria

First i want to make some points crystal clear before you read:

Gender dysphoria is not the same as gender nonconformity, which refers to behaviors not matching the gender norms or stereotypes of the gender assigned at birth. Examples  include occasional cross-dressing in adult men. Gender nonconformity is not a mental disorder. Gender dysphoria is also not the same being gay/lesbian.

Gender dysphoria used to be called “gender identity disorder.” But the crisis of identity associated with gender is not the mental illness,Instead, what need to be addressed are the stress, depression that come along with this dysphoria.

How to identify Gender Dysphoria

In children, these symptoms may include:

  • Consistently saying they are really a girl even though they have the physical traits of a boy or really a boy if they have the physical traits of a girl
  • Strongly preferring friends of the sex with which they identify
  • Rejecting the clothes, toys, and games typical for boys or girls
  • Refusing to urinate in the way — standing or sitting — that other boys or girls typically do
  • Saying they want to get rid of their genitals
  • Believing that even though they have the physical traits of a girl they will grow up to be a man; or believing if they have the physical traits of a boy they will still be a woman when they grow up
  • Having extreme distress about the body changes that happen during puberty

Why it’s important: Studies suggest that 71% of people with gender dysphoria end up being chronically depressed or schizophrenic and have abnormal sexual life leading to marked proportion of 23% ending in suicides.

#SpeakingCinema

Boys don’t Cry: Based on a true story, Boys Don’t Cry was adapted from the life of Brandon Teena, born Teena Brandon, a woman who chose to live her life as a man and suffered tragic consequences as a result. A true story about hope, fear, and the courage it takes to be yourself, Boys Don’t Cry is critically acclaimed love story. Brandon falls in love with a beautiful girl named Lana, and there’s an undercurrent question that’s never quite answered as we wonder if Lana knows that Brandon is still physically female.Starring Hilary Swank and Chloe Sevigny, this is an excellent, brutal and unforgettable film.

Hedwig and the angry inch : Ok i am smitten by this movie.I’ve  watched this one over and over . It’s a love story, a glam-rock musical, a comedy, a search for meaning, a journey of discovery and a story about loneliness and redemption.

This story begins with Hansel, the child of a German mother and American-soldier father, being raised behind the Berlin wall. As he grows up, his love of glamor and rock music only grows, so when he meets a handsome American soldier and falls in love, he gets his opportunity to escape from behind the wall. But in order to leave as his soldier’s bride, he must take his mother’s passport and pass a physical exam. And here Hedwig is born.

The gender-change surgery is botched, leaving him with only “an angry inch,” and eventually losing him the love of his soldier (who is pictured loving big sausages and we’ll leave it at that). Living alone in a trailer park, Hedwig is depressed and lonely. Working as a grocery checkout girl and babysitter, he falls for the young son of an officer, and they write beautiful music together. Until his boyfriend runs off with all the songs and becomes a rock star…

Daayra : In this path breaking film directed by Amol Palekar, Nirmal Pandey plays a transvestite who comes in contact with a rape victim. Helming a sensitive story, he personifies human relationships that go beyond narrow identities. So far, he is the only actor to bag a National Award for Best Actress.

Talk to us, leave a comment or mail to us if you want to have a word on abuse or mental health. Share your stories of being victorious at “The Bachpan Project.” and help people deal with their demons.

The goal is not to change how the person feels about his or her gender. Instead, the goal is to deal with the distress that may come with those feelings being non judgmental.

Love

P.

Posted on

Heading to fridge when stressed?…… It may be #EatingDisorder

Most of us binge eat or head straight to refrigerator when we are stressed, but do you know this when uncontrolled may turn into a serious psychological disturbance .

According to the National Institute of Mental Health eating disorders primarily affect girls and women.1 But eating disorders aren’t just a problem for the teenage women so often depicted in the media. Men and boys can also be vulnerable. About a quarter of preadolescence cases of anorexia occur in boys, for example. And binge eating disorder strikes males and females about equally.

There are three major types of eating disorders.

People with anorexia nervosa have a distorted body image that causes them to see themselves as overweight even when they’re dangerously thin. Often refusing to eat, exercising compulsively, and developing unusual habits such as refusing to eat in front of others, they lose large amounts of weight and may even starve to death.

Individuals with bulimia nervosa eat excessive quantities, then purge their bodies of the food and calories they fear by using laxatives, enemas, or diuretics; vomiting; or exercising. Often acting in secrecy, they feel disgusted and ashamed as they binge, yet relieved of tension and negative emotions once their stomachs are empty again.

Like people with bulimia, those with binge eating disorder experience frequent episodes of out-of-control eating. The difference is that binge eaters don’t purge their bodies of excess calories.

Treatment plans often are tailored to individual needs and may include one or more of the following:

  • Individual, group, or family psychotherapy
  • Medical care and monitoring
  • Nutritional counseling
  • Medications (for example, antidepressants)

Eating Disorder In Cinema

Sharing the Secret – An amazing movie about the mother-daughter relationship  It is among those movies about eating disorders that focus on bulimia instead of anorexia. The movie is about a child psychologist Nina Moss and her daughter Beth, played by Alison Lohman, who is a slim, upbeat overachiever. However, Nina feels something is just not right with Beth, and she is right because Beth becomes bulimic, purging, and binging, which things start to get out of hand, shows the importance of family and friends in overcoming.

Unrealistic beauty standards leading to anorexia in young girls is beautifully portrayed in Dying to Dance which is  about a talented ballerina Alyssa who is asked to lose weight to stay in the game. But, soon things go out of hand and anorexia takes over her life. Another movie Thin also traces the journey of four anorexic women.

The road to eating disorder recovery starts with admitting you have a problem. This admission can be tough, especially if you’re still clinging to the belief—even in the back of your mind—that weight loss is the key to happiness, confidence, and success. Even when you finally understand this isn’t true, old habits are still hard to break.

The good news is that the eating disorder behaviors you’ve learned can be unlearned if you’re motivated to change and willing to ask for help. However, overcoming an eating disorder is about more than giving up unhealthy eating behaviors. It’s also about rediscovering who you are beyond your eating habits, weight, and body image

Remember- You all are beautiful.

Posted on

Let there be no D for Depression

PC:Therese Borchard

I had plans to write Depression for the day four of A to Z Challenge and yesterday the news came of a 20 year old boy committing suicide at Mumbai. The way he live streamed his suicide on Facebook was scary. I just felt that i could reverse back the time clock and talk to him, save him and let us be around people who are struggling with depression.

Sadness is something we all experience. It is a normal reaction to difficult times in life and usually passes with a little time. When a person has depression, it interferes with daily life and normal functioning. It can cause pain for both the person with depression and those who care about him or her. Doctors call this condition “depressive disorder,” or “clinical depression.” It is a real illness. It is not a sign of a person’s weakness or a character flaw. You can’t “snap out of” clinical depression. Most people who experience depression

So i decided to give up cinematic portrayal of depression and write a poem on Depression instead, here “He” refers to depression and before you hit back at me, it’s gender neutral.

Through this poem i want just to portray how depression feels like after having talked to many people who are facing it. It’s in a girl’s narrative just because i am a girl ,

“I was lonely, sad and bitterly lost

Even weed wasn’t helping

I stalked my ex on Facebook

Went through all the chats

Something was still sinking

When one day I saw this cutie

staring at me

He waved, I said Hi

He came over and smiled

I ordered a latte and he a black coffee

I thought he seemed genuinely nice

He came over with me to my room

And I said dude that was quick

But who cares when you are

Lonely, sad and bitterly lost

He refused to leave and it felt good

It was a change when leaving was a way

I thought a little fooling around is okay

There is a thing called No strings attached

And we will be on our way

I was happy, light and smiling bright

I needed no one and was giving a tough fight

No one knew he was there

So I locked my room with him in it

And made love with promises to keep

It’s been days, months and more than a year

He is still sitting at the edge of my chair

Sarcastically smiling and whispering in my ears

“Dare you go anywhere, You are mine”

I wish someone could see him and throw him out

I feel a loose a cell every day, is he eating me out

He ties me up and forces himself upon me

I try to scream, he cups my lips

And when bruises come up, he calls it a love bite

I try to run, he pulls me back and slaps me hard

I thought he loved my long tresses

I cut them short to shoo him away

And when I turned, he was right there

Staring it me and I shivered with fear

He thrust me hard that day

As if trying to say “dare you even tried your way”

I request, I plead, I beg him to leave

He just laughs scaring the shit out of me

He keeps me awake all night, every night

Says “I will hug you” and crushes me from inside

If you are reading please help me

Talk to me, hold me, please pull me back

He is taking me to a dark tunnel

Never ever to return back”

Help people around dealing with depression, they may not say it but they need it.

Courtesy- Psych Central

 

I am participating in A to Z Challenge with http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/

 

 

Posted on

It’s never too late to go back and have a happy childhood

Child sexual abuse, a cause that is very dear to my heart, it still shudders me every time i hear a story of abuse in my sessions.  Yes, i am covering it in my #SpeakUp series because it has profound psychological effects on a child’s mental state.

Child sexual abuse includes touch and non touch abuse. Some examples of touching activity include:

  • touching a child’s genitals or private parts for sexual pleasure
  • making a child touch someone else’s genitals, play sexual games or have sex putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the vagina, in the mouth or in the anus of a child for sexual pleasure

Some examples of non-touching activity include:

  • showing pornography to a child
  • deliberately exposing an adult’s genitals to a child
  • photographing a child in sexual poses
  • encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts
  • inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom
As well as the activities described above, there is also the serious and growing problem of people making and downloading sexual images of children on the Internet
(Source : Parents Protect)
The various behavioral signs that may point towards a child being abused are:
  • Becoming withdrawn or very clingy
  • Becoming unusually secretive
  • Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings and seeming insecure
  • Regressing to younger behaviours, e.g. bedwetting
  • Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
  • Outburst of anger
  • Changes in eating habits
  • New adult words for body parts and no obvious source
  • Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts
  • Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
  • Not wanting to be alone with a particular child or young person

Child Sexual Abuse in Cinema

Chilling and gruelling movie Spotlight undoubtedly tops my list of movies depicting child sexual abuse. In 2002, the Boston Globe’s Spotlight team, a group of five investigative journalists, uncovered the biggest systemic cover-up of child abuse by the Catholic Church in Boston : that priests accused of misconduct were being systematically removed and allowed to work in other parishes.

The team’s investigation brought the issue to national prominence in the US, winning them the Pulitzer prize for public service. The journalists’ story, and those who suffered at the hands of the clergy, are the subject of movie, a Hollywood movie starring Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.  Meet the amazing real and reel Spotlight team.

Mira Nair’s musical drama “Monsoon Wedding” for the first time in Bollywood took up the issue of child sexual abuse in the most bold way as possible where the movie in a run up to big fat Indian wedding comes to a point that an abuser which is a trusted family member is exposed after abusing many children. It is closer to reality in a typical joint family set up where such a revelation is first met with disbelief and then passed off under covers as “little thing”. Stand up for victims, says this movie and we say the same.

Madhur Bhandarkar’s Page 3 deals with child abuse and trafficking under the garb of child care homes but dilutes it in the process to make a cocktail of everything that happens in Page 3.

We come to Imtiaz’s yet another masterpiece about stockholm syndrome Highway where the kidnapper (Randeep Hooda) and the hostage (Alia bhatt) connect over past abuse at the hands of people they trusted and there Imtiaz makes a very important statement- Child sexual abuse occurs irrespective of class and gender. The powerful scene where Alia confronts his abuser on face shows what years of trauma and abuse may lead up to, it may lead up to the confident of confident young girls and boys vulnerable and one single support gives them courage to say a No.

Read the ever inspiring Oprah Winfrey who suffered years of abuse as a child.

“Anybody who has been verbally abused or physically abused will spend a great deal of their life rebuilding their esteem,”. Everybody has a story and your story is as equally as valuable and important as my story. My story just helped define and shape me as does everybody’s story.”

After the sessions by Bachpan Project in Bihar, 4 girls out of 9 schools have reported against Child sexual abuse by people in authority of trust. Write to us, speak to us and let’s give the Bachpan Back to our children.

 

Posted on

You think your friend acts weird at times……It may be Bipolar

Courtesy- EmpowHER

When out of all the poets who received the Pulitzer — the prize awarded to those who made the biggest contributions to the human spirit — 38 percent of them were bipolar, how can we simply label it a human disorder? Think how much more they could contribute to the human spirit if they knew it could be used as a gift to humanity, instead of something to hide from humanity?

Paul Dalio, Filmamker

What is Bipolar

Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).

When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts to mania or hypomania (less extreme than mania), you may feel euphoric, full of energy or unusually irritable. These mood swings can affect sleep, energy, activity, judgment, behavior and the ability to think clearly.

Episodes of mood swings may occur rarely or multiple times a year. While most people will experience some emotional symptoms between episodes, some may not experience any.

I will quote my one amazing friend i met at poetry retreat (and dude i love you ) “I admit that i have done things that I’ve regretted. The overdose, which sent me into hospital, was one of the things. I then knew i needed help. I don’t even bother to count how many times a year I have to go through this. Medication helps keep me in some control, especially with the manic side.Mania brings with it the thought that you’re this amazing person, who can do anything, someone who deserves to be with people. The bad side of mania is that loss of control. Nights become sleepless and the thoughts running through your head won’t stop.  You smoke up, you take weed, a lot of weed and you are always energetic.”

I tried to understand Bipolar through his life, his silence, his laughter and his poetry. So let’s come to movies that show Bipolar.

I start with Mr Jones(1993) where Richard Gere playing a manic patient is shown in a romantic relationship with her Psychiatrist played by Lina Orin, too much romanticizing bipolar was what this movie did wrong with the tagline ““Everything that makes him dangerous makes her love him more.”

George Clooney’s  Michael Clayton shows exactly what Bipolar people face in real life- Their real aggression is passed off as manic episodes. With Corporate corruption being the plot, Tom Wilkinson plays a bipolar character whose claims are always dismissed as those moods of paranoia.

Director’s David.O.Russel struggle as a father seeing his bipolar son dealing with his mental condition led to the making of Oscar winner amazing movie dealing with mental illness- Silver Lining Playbooks. Bradley Cooper plays Pat Solitano, who is trying to get his life back together after a court-ordered psychiatric hospitalization. The main plotline concerns Pat’s efforts to win back his ex-wife by agreeing to enter a dance competition (it’s complicated). His dance partner, played by Jennifer Lawrence, is a sex addicted widow dealing with depression. And his father, played by Robert De Niro, has obsessive-compulsive tendencies and a gambling problem that drives a lot of the action. from De Niro to Cooper, this movie is one hell of acting.

Writer and director Maya Forbes writes the story of her own father in Infinitely Polar Bear Mark Ruffalo and Zoe Saldana play a mixed-race couple raising two daughters,The father doesn’t work because of his bipolar disorder, so the mother decides to accept a scholarship to graduate school in New York City so she can make more money for the family. The kids are left with their dad, who makes parenting mistakes making it one beautiful film.

What’s the treatment?

Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. Treatment is directed at managing symptoms which include medications from mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, anti depressants to substance abuse treatment. Visit your nearest psychiatrist and seek medical help if you face such kind of symptoms. Drop us a mail at Bachpan Project if you think your child is dealing with Bipolar disorder.

Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are. Because my bipolar went untreated for so long, I spent many years looking in the mirror and seeing a person I did not recognize or understand. Not only did bipolar rob me of my sanity, but it robbed me of my ability to see beyond the space it dictated me to look. I no longer could tell reality from fantasy, and I walked in a world no longer my own.”
― Alessa Reyans, Letters from a bipolar mother.

I am participating in A to Z Challenge with Blogchatter

 

 

Posted on

A – Tracing Autism through Dustin Hoffman to Darsheel Safary

 

Autism, or autism spectrum disorder, refers to a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, as well as by unique strengths and differences. Autism’s most-obvious signs tend to appear between 2 and 3 years of age. In some cases, it can be diagnosed as early as 18 months

In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association merged four previously distinct diagnoses into one umbrella diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). These included autistic disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) and Asperger syndrome. 

Children with AS will display some symptoms of autism in quite a pronounced way. They may engage in obsessive routines, odd speech patterns and other peculiar mannerisms but are less affected overall. They display an unusual sensitivity to sensory stimuli, e.g. they may cover their ears to block out sounds in the environment or they may prefer to wear clothing made only of a certain material or avoid eye contact.

AS is characterised by poorly impaired social skills. In spite of having normal to above average intelligence and language development, children are unable to communicate effectively with others and have poor coordination. They are sometimes described as active but odd, they tend to relate in a narrow way. Their activities are usually centred on their needs and peculiar interests. They have few facial expressions and have difficulty in reading the body language of others.

A puzzling feature of individuals with AS is their inability to comprehend what friendship is all about. Most are either indifferent to the idea of friendships or have no idea how to make friends

  • The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates autism’s prevalence as 1 in 68 children in the United States. This includes 1 in 42 boys and 1 in 189 girls.
  • An estimated 50,000 teens with autism become adults – and lose school-based autism services – each year.
  • Around one third of people with autism remain nonverbal.
  • Around one third of people with autism have an intellectual disability.
  • Certain medical and mental health issues frequently accompany autism. They include gastrointestinal (GI) disorders, seizures, sleep disturbances, attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety and phobias

The first grand exposure of Autism in cinema was  Barry Levinson’s Oscar-winner Rain Man  in 1988. But there it did some damage, when i recently suggested a friend when i observed their child that he may be autistic, he had this vague idea of autistic children being genius with incredible memory skills, when the vast majority of them aren’t.

In the case of Bollywood mega hit My Name Is Khan (2010), Shahrukh Kahn’s title character’s Muslim faith is just as important, and as much an engine for the film’s baroque melodrama, as the fact that he has Asperger’s syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism.

Of the recent crop of features about people on the spectrum, one of the strongest is biopic Temple Grandin about  the world’s most famous person with ASC. Of the ones hovering near to reality are The Autism Puzzle made in 2003 but still very relevant, and Neurotypical

One of my most favorite and an eye opener film was Taare Zameen Par featuring Darsheel Safary as dyslexic child, Ishan Aswasthi is ridiculed at school and at home for not being able to write and read properly. He has developmental dyslexia.The discovery of Ishan’s artistic talent and the way it blooms under the care of his art teacher is the most important (and joyous) neurocognitive phenomenon in the film.In remedial training in children with dyslexia, it is important to facilitate the development of their unique artistic and other abilities to its full capacity rather than to overemphasize on the correction of the disturbed coded symbol operations. This film should be an eyeopener to parents of dyslexic children. The entire team and in particular the young artist, Darsheel, who so vividly portrays the helplessness of a disabled child, deserve our appreciation.

Drop us a comment or mail us at drpoojatripathi1902@gmail.com, We at “The Bachpan Project” will help you sail through understanding your child’s condition.

I am participating in Ato Z blogging challenge 2017.

 

Posted on

You thought they existed only in movies………#AtoZThemeReveal

The suicide of Robin Williams had a profound effect on many people who felt that he was a part of their life, having grown up with him on TV.  It made people stop and think how such a vibrant and dynamic person may have suffered silently.

It is critical that persons with mental illness realize they are not alone and that there is support to help them through difficult times. Most importantly, it’s essential that they understand it is possible to cope with and recover from the grips of mental illness

Mental Health is still a word we don’t want to talk about. A taboo which prevents people from talking about their suffering.

Rather than ask why so many people are living with mental health problems, we will seek to uncover why too few of us are thriving with good mental health. With people struggling to cope with the demands of life and stuck on getting through the day, we will explore through the world of movie characters.

The characters from cinema we have loved, the characters we have hated but they come from within us. There is “A beautiful mind” between us, a “Silver linings” among a dark clouds of mental illness, a “Kartik” always calls another “Kartik” in a parallel world.

All through April, let’s spread the awareness against Mental illness and why it’s necessary to speak up through the power of cinema only on #AtoZChallenge.

Posted on

Hell Yeah! That was one fucking lifetime of friendship #HappyWomen’sDay

I come from that pre millennial era where having a friend that is boy (not boyfriend) was frowned upon and I hated being among girls. I always thought I am never made of the girly stuff and that’s why for a longer time I never had girlfriends.

But today on Women’s day as I sit to write why I value my female friends over the testosterone counterpart, I get a smile on my face. Even though I say all of this now, around college, I lost almost all of my female friends. Not on purpose, of course, but I met a lot of people who just didn’t function like me.

Gosh they can be exhausting, they need to be updated with your life details every passing minute, explanations for why it was done & definitely for why it was not done, sessions of “what the hell are you doing with your life”, “You know he is interested on you na?”, the fighting, reprimanding, complaining , caring  and definitely worth keeping.

Female friendships are so caring in nature that they don’t border on being interfering, they amalgamate into your life smoothly acting as a father of the bride when you date someone, giving a shoulder to cry if you are depressed, never ever make you feel overweight or less gorgeous, doubling up as a bodyguard, acting as a mother when you are sick and noticing those things about you which you never knew even existed( I have a habit of smiling while narrating why I am super tensed, my roomie tells me this).

 

My female friendships taught me that the I have some flaws and I am beautiful with that, that I can cry if I want to and there is always a hug if nothing else matters, that you don’t only take care of your PMS but of your buddies too, that you gossip about everyone else and dare listen a word about your friend, that what she likes is equal to what you would be liking and whomever she hates enters automatically in your “To murder” list.


They taught me that the first step to a successful friendship is to accept your friend as she is. That means no judgement. You let them be who they are. Whatever your girlfriend offers, take it. Whoever she is, accept it. She isn’t a project. Neither are you.

They taught me that we must be honest and vulnerable. It’s the only way to build a bond that lasts after the granddaughter walks down the aisle. My best friend knows that my birthday is my Personal National Holiday.

My girlfriends gave me an important life lesson- we must celebrate each other’s triumphs. Be a cheerleader. If cheering isn’t your thing, be a boxer. Help her knock out obstacles with words of support, love and encouragement. Use your strengths to balance out her weaknesses.

To all the amazing women in my life labelled as friends. A very Happy Women’s day to all you phenomenal women in my life. Remember when the final chapter of life is about to be closed, I wish to be around you all, taking a shot and saying

“Hell Yeah! That was one fucking lifetime of friendship”.

Love

P.

 

Ending this post with a beautiful message from my friend whom i never met but really cherish:

Posted on

Dear Ms. Gandhi: For a change, let’s ask women who actually carry the child in womb

Dear Maneka Gandhi

This February you  wrote to Health Minister Nadda saying that all hospitals be asked to declare the number of cesareans they performed every month. Gandhi also called for the “naming and shaming” of gynecologists who performed C-sections on women “for no reason at all except money”.

I read your statement saying: “I would like all women in India to get together and start protesting because a cesarean for a woman is very invasive, and it turns a natural delivery into something that is an unnecessary operation.” Behind all this concern lies the deep rooted crisis that women all over the world are facing. A bunch of men sit at oval office and declare abortion illegal. Why are you telling women to chase after so-called “natural deliveries”. Why are women being kept out of the loop of the whole decision making process that concerns their uterus.

Maternal mortality is nothing short of an epidemic. Worldwide, hundreds of thousands of women die from complications during pregnancy or childbirth each year – that’s one woman dying every 90 seconds – and millions more are left with life-altering disabilities. In some countries, one in seven women dies in pregnancy or childbirth. It was estimated that in 2015, roughly 303,000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth. Almost all of these deaths occurred in low-resource settings, and most could have been prevented.These women aren’t dying because the health community doesn’t know how to prevent their deaths; they are dying because the world is failing to help.

When health insurance was provided through smart cards all that was done was to perform hysterectomy on women as young as 18. A scam is uncovered, there is hulla and the accused are let free be it Chattisgarh or Odisha. But we can’t get hold of them.

Women die as a result of complications during and following pregnancy and childbirth. Most of these complications develop during pregnancy and most are preventable or treatable.

Other complications may exist before pregnancy but are worsened during pregnancy, especially if not managed as part of the woman’s care and no efforts are being taken to address the problem comprehensively through skill development or infrastructure development.

However, saying that the high number of C-sections is due to the fact that modern independent women are irresponsible, they don’t want to adjust and want shortcuts to giving birth is bullshit. The day we hit puberty and this monthly “aunt” comes home with excruciating pain we are told thatf that pain is something that women need to go through for a birth to be ‘natural’ and our body is just preparing us for that.

There are many complications….err medical complications that require C-sections if we wish to save two lives, saving lives should come as natural to us as child birth. Because we believe pain is a natural biological burden that women have to bear, whether or not it involves motherhood, we make them believe that every pain is natural.

But Ms. Gandhi, all you choose to is glorify the puritan form of Natural birth. No doubt it should be encouraged as it’s most natural and healthy way to deliver a child but isn’t as a policy maker you have bigger responsibilities of addressing the gaps coming in way of “Right To safe motherhood and contraception” rather than just giving them some preaching.

For a change, how about shifting the global burden of family planning from women to men. Not a single man, who was a part of the sample in the National Family Health Survey, had opted for vasectomy in 2015, suggesting that women continue to bear the burden of family planning. The latest survey reveals that while 50.7 per cent women went for sterilization, merely 0.4 per cent men opted for it.

How about some gyaan there too.

Why should boys have all the fun.

Love

A woman who won’t take pain and bullshit.

 

P.S- Writing this post for International Women’s day. We are #WomenOfBlogging

Posted on

हमारी नफरतों के बीच एक माँ

एक अजीब से घिनौने समय में हम जी रहे हैं, जहाँ एक होड़ मची हुई है कि “तेरी वाली देशभक्ति, मेरी वाली देशभक्ति“ से कम कैसे. मुझे गुरमेहर की भी बात बचकानी लगती है और उसे जवाब देने वाले सो कॉल्ड देशभक्तों पर तो तरस आता है जो अपनी बात रखने के लिये पहले दलील देते हैं और जब दलील चुक जाती है तो रेप की धमकी देते हैं.

इस सारे तमाशे के बीच मैं कुछ समय पीछे जाती हूँ. वॉर हीरोज पर एक डाक्यूमेंट्री बना रही हूँ, प्रोफेसर एस.के नैयर से उनके घर पर मिलती हूँ. उनसे लम्बी बातचीत करती हूँ कैप्टन अनुज नैयर, महावीर चक्र के बारे में. ढेर सारे किस्से और तस्वीरें. 24 साल के बेटे को जंग में खो चुकी एक माँ बाहर निकलती हैं जो आधी मुस्कान के साथ मेरे नमस्ते का जवाब देती हैं. मुझे पहले ही प्रोफेसर नैयर बता चुके हैं कि अपने बेटे के शहादत के बाद उन्हें जितनी तकलीफों का सामना करना पड़ा, उसके बाद अनुज की माँ किसी से भी बात नहीं करती.

एक जोड़ी पथराई आँखें, वो आँखें आज भी मेरा पीछा करती हैं. जब आप ये देशभक्ति का नाच करते हैं तो मुझे सिर्फ Mrs नैयर की दो पथरायी आँखें दिखाई देती है. जंग में चली गोली से एक सैनिक शहीद होता है, और हमारी उदासीनता से एक परिवार ख़त्म हो जाता है. हम सिर्फ शोर मचाते हैं, आज देशभक्ति पर, कल सलमान की शादी पर और परसों किसी और मुद्दे पर. हमे सिर्फ कहना है, सुनना नहीं है. और जो हमारी बात नहीं सुनेगा उस पर हम चिल्लायेंगे, गाली देंगे, मारेंगे और रेप जैसा हथियार तो है ही, हर जगह काम आ ही जाता है.

जब ये नंगा नाच ख़त्म हो जाये और इस बात पर निर्णय हो जाये की कौन सही है और कौन गलत तो याद रखना कि कारगिल युद्ध ख़त्म होने के 18 साल बाद भी एक माँ को ना तुम्हारी fanatic देशभक्ति से कोई मतलब है और ना तुम्हारी ट्रिपल सेंचुरी से, उसे आज तक यही बात सालती है कि शहादत के दिन उसका बेटा बिना कुछ खाये ही जंग में चला गया.