I just want to sleep

A little drizzle lays bare

On a face with a salty tint

the naked arms which shiver

Of cold , of pain, of breathless whispers 

I try to speak and I choke of dreams

Amid the fading away of screams 

Turn by turn scars shout 

It’s Me! It’s Me! It’s Me! out loud

I dust off the demons from every corner

 the laughs that always hover

An outstretched hand that disappears

Every time I try holding on to it

I enter a dark room with pile of shit

The discarded empathy

The broken kindness

The abandoned love 

The vulnerable friendships

In a quaint little corner of that mess

I find a sepia tinted space 

Where, at this very moment

I just want to sleep

And in that moment, they were infinite

In the moment before they went on a drive

A drive that was never a date

When friendship wore a red crimson top

The wild spirit put a dash of pink gloss

When smile decided to stay a little longer

And laughs creeped into consciousness

When It was no more the same

I don’t care turned into little efforts that looked vain

When songs had a name, a moment, a face with gleaming eyes

And the record was stuck like a flying kite in blue sky

When accidental touch became intentional

And all the mirrors in car focused on one object

Everything became upside down

We talk of firsts, the overrated firsts

The first sight, the first love, the first kiss, the first meet

But then he knew it already and she knew that from inside

That they started way before the firsts

When they didn’t even knew, they were together

They had already held their hand at a one arm distance

They had already kissed in a parallel world

In the moment, they met for the first time

They had already been in love for a lifetime

And in that moment, they were infinite

 

 

 

We travel away from strings that hold us back

In the dark spaces between
breathing and living
Rhythm and chaos
we all are puppets of a ticking clock
while time has no scale
it runs in anticipation
of danger
of nightmares
of an untimely call
of a scary unknown
of a sorry that has waited long
of a love that is lost and blurred
of letting go that was yours
It stays still and freezes
and watches silently
the becoming of a new life
the unbecoming of a yesterday
the moment before a hesitant kiss
an embrace when you feel the breath
 3 am nights with crazy friends
the travel that sets you free
the sun that paints the sky red
the starry night on a mountain top
In the dark spaces between
when life melts and
when life happens
we travel, travel away
from strings that hold us back

शाम गुलाबी…..शहर गुलाबी

एक गुलाबी शहर
चार गुलाबी रातें
चाँद से उतर कर जब एक गुलाबी
उतर आई थी सतरंगी दुपट्टे में
तो वो गुलाबी चमक उठी थी टिमटिमाते रंगों में
महलों से झांकती उदास गुलाबी
जब हँस पड़ी थी दोस्तों के साथ
कहते हैं लोग कि गुलाबी बिखर गया था
पलाश के पीले पत्तों सा
जैसे जूड़े में लगा दिये हों गुलाबी फूल किसी ने
दो हाथों के थामने की उस गुलाबी रात के बीच
कुछ शर्म से लाल हो उठी थी गुलाबी
जाते हुए जब पलट कर देखा मैंने इस गुलाबी आसमां को
गुलाबी चेहरों के बीच ठहरे कितने गुलाबी लम्हों में
अलविदा कह रहा था एक शहर गुलाबी

चुरा तो लोगे तुम कह कर कविता …………..

तुम बेशक चुरा लोगे खोखले शब्द
और बटोर लोगे वाहवाही
जिसमें दीमक लग चुकी होगी
पर कहाँ से लाओगे
वो सुबह जिसकी अलगनी में
पिछली रात के टुकड़े टँगे हैं
उँगलियों की चुहल
और बतियाती आँखें
जब आँखें मींचे
हथेलियों से थामने की कोशिश थी
पिघलते अंधेरों को
चुरा तो लोगे तुम कह कर कविता
पर वो जलना, बूँद बूँद
गिरना, रिसना
कहाँ से लाओगे

सब कहते हैं कि तुम यहाँ नहीं हो

चलती हूँ एक अर्धनिद्रा में
टटोलती हूँ तुम्हारे चेहरे को
बनाती हूँ कुछ तुम जैसा
हवा में
और ढूँढती हूँ तुम्हें
उस चेहरे में
दिखता है तुम्हारा अक्स
तारों की तरह
दूर तक फैले
टिमटिमाते हुए
पर रोशनी नहीं
और जब कुहासा छाये
छिप जाते हैं
अंधेरे की चादर ओढ़े
उस अघड़ तस्वीर में
टाँक देती हूँ तुम्हारी वो
आधी मुस्कुराहट
जिसके पीछे दुबक के
बैठा होता है लाड़
मुझे इशारा करते हुये
चुप रहने का, कम हँसने का
तुम्हारी बेमतलब की झिड़की
सर्दी के धूप सरीखी
सुनहरी, मुलायम
इतराते हुए जो आँगन में आये
कुछ हड़बड़ी में
वापस जाने को परेशान
एक अकेली कुर्सी पर
जब एक अकेली चाय पीते
सुबह की अंगड़ाई में
देखती हूँ
उसी धूप के टुकड़े
को हर मौसम
बिल्कुल वैसा
तुम्हारा न होकर भी यहाँ होना
न चाहे उग आये बथुआ की तरह
फर्श पर बिखरे हुये
बाल्कनी पर पड़ी टूटी कुर्सी पर
बैंगनी रंग के फूलों वाली चादर पर
एक बड़े से कॉफी मग में
आईने के किनारे लगी लाल बिंदी में
हर कोने में तो छितरे पड़े हो
और सब कहते हैं कि तुम
यहाँ नहीं हो
I am writing this for the blogchatter prompt “Without You” in Hindi.

Is love only about making………………

She has big eyes where you are trapped

Among those brows that seem far apart

Those curls, those greys sneaking out of her

The way you gasp when you come close to her

Her insomniac walk when you look for her at 2 am

Strolling in Balcony humming tune of her favorite song

Her curves camouflage into a sun kissed beach

She smells of your cologne spilled on bedsheet

Her eyes are shut as they always are

Shutting away from a chaos, the mess that is us

Half burnt cigarettes and half-baked thoughts

An incomplete kiss that never connects the dots

Purple highlights falling on her empty back

A tattoo that breaths when you untie that strap

A tornado that engulfs you as a whole

She endured your aching mind, heart and soul

She waited for you to talk of those broken ifs

And make a phoenix out of carcass of unfinished dreams

You love her every night and goes on her waiting

Makes her wonder

Is love only about moaning and making.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I am Happy in being me

She was born with a mole on her feet and someone said

Oh she will be a disagreeing soul and would always tread

Then she wanders in search of memories that are dragged

Drunk on nostalgia and away from the cities that brag

Some call her lost

Some call her strong

She still hums and dances on that 90s song

And beyond the labels that you bestow upon her

She knows she was born to be an outlaw among all who surrender

Her scars go deep where no one can see

And she kisses mountains with a happy glee

Leans out of car screen and drinks dew drops

Walks barefoot on a moonlit beach in a worn out top

She still watches P.S.I love you on saturday nights

And her heart skips a beat when he says “P.S.I love you” a 100th time

So go call her names and scream it loud

The itching feet

The nomadic tribe

The cold solitary soul

The wandering girl who won’t fit in

But let you know that she is happy

Being happy because I am being me.”

I am writing this post for the blogchatter prompt “Because I am happy”. You can read more amazing posts at

www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatter-prompt-because-im-happy

#NotAllMen and #WeAllWomen

One fine night when i was partying with my friends

My smartphone flashed the #BengaluruIncident

Yes we were partying and having a little fun

And then i looked around to find some men

It was New Year’s and everyone was jovial

jumping and hugging and clicking pictures

A “what if” splashed and shuttered me from inside

What if someone says they want a little more fun

What if someone gropes me just because it’s a new year eve

What if A little cleavage leads to a big scene

What if my choices turn into causes

came a volley of moments and barrage of discomfort

A man asking for my “rate” on the traffic signal

A man who made me feel naked by just his stare

A man who pushed in the crowd just me a little more

A man who got his manly boost by calling me a whore

A man who takes Bollywood too seriously and stalks like a crazy

A man who calls up as unknown and talks dirty

A man who flashes in a dark corner and still thinks its fun

A man who calls me names from behind, all of them the same

What the fuck does it matter if you stand in the crowd

What the fuck does it matter if you made some brave choices

what the fuck does it matter that you need to earn

What the fuck does it matter that you need a break

What the fuck does it matter that you too have work commitments to keep

What the fuck does it matter that you wear a burqa or a robe

What the fuck does it matter that you are high or sober

Just one incident will make you naked

Just one short dress

Just one date night

Just one vodka shot

Just one party invite

Just one evening when you are late

Just one taxi driver

Just one hour past your limit

Just one flickering street light

Just one risk that you took

Just one stranger that you mistook

Just one mob that rips you off

Just one life as a girl for which you have to pay off

Between FB discussions and twitter shares

You shrug off your responsibility

And say “Who cares”

Yes #NotAllMen are molesters

but why do #WeAllWomen face harassment

because between the divides  of

#NotAllMen vs #YesAllWomen

You actually let it happen

#NotAllMen: there is a world beyond your maa

your sis,Your baby, your honey, your sweetheart

Your bestie, Your daughter

Can we make sure that they live without fear

It’s just this small thing that really matters.