An open letter to parents of people fighting depression

Back to blogging after a long time, just that i avoid writing these days. But yesterday a phone conversation and today when i read about a letter of regret by a father who didn’t ask his son to come back, i sat down to write this.

I am usually a very private person when it comes to writing. Today i am taking this step, a breach of my writing policy to write about empathy. I was feeling unusually down last night when i called my dad and he told me to hold my own ground and stay, stay strong and i will be better. You can always come back but you need to stay and fight your own demons.

Braving anxiety episodes, i was up all night intermittently asking a friend to chat with me fishing out office gossips. And it left me wondering why is staying, adjusting, getting used to, fighting back is so much overrated. Some days you just need to put your hands up, give up for that time and go back.

And then this morning i read this letter where a father regretted that why didn’t he ask his son to come back

https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/a-son-never-dies-by-sunil-gupta-moving-letter-from-a-father-of-an-ibanking-analyst

For those youngsters out there: You need to set boundaries and live your own life. You do not live to fulfill the dreams of your parents. Live your own life on your terms. Ultimately, your parents will respect you more for that than doing exactly what they command all the time. Also, while we like to joke about the best analysts are those that eat double decker shit sandwiches with a smile…..that’s not really true either. If you are truly getting crushed, please reach out to your bosses to ask for prioritization and ask your peers and bosses for help. Do not sit quietly in agony.

Trust me, the world will move on if that PowerPoint isn’t perfect.

It is much better to set boundaries and give little no’s along the way. Take control of your destiny. Those that own their destiny are much more comfortable with the inevitable trials and tribulations along the way.

Please, live your own life or risk dying for someone else’s dreams.

That there are others who are in my shoes. Right now! Some even worse or some similar. Some who have gone through while some who have witnessed others go through stuff which doesn’t only seem unfair but unfathomable.

Therefore, I hope — Oh God! I really do hope— that if you identify yourself or anyone in any of the above categories, then PLEASE reach out for help. Reach out to a therapist or chaplain, or a support group where others share the same narrative as yours so you can finally be free. Speak or write! Break the silence. Let it out. So you can finally feel normal. And not feel alone. Not anymore.

Dear parents, please ask them to come back before it’s too late to return.

Love.

P. (During one of her depressive episodes)

 

Leave a Reply