Because there are deep men too

So few days back i happened to read an article about “Why deep women struggle to have a perfect relationship”, being one of that kind i could totally relate to that article word by word and even shared it saying “Perfect”, we struggle for a sensible friendships too. Here is the link to article:

So my bestie Prashanth messages me on whatsapp that day (because we share a relationship of conversations, conversations on almost everything that happens around us, from politics to society) and he says “Isn’t it true for the deep men too”. I disagreed,i told him the society does not get the deep women but it thinks that it comes naturally to men and that day he wrote to me on deep men and their struggles. I could not agree more. This letter was so beautifully explained that i took permission for sharing it on blog. This is Prashanth Shrinivas for you and his views on Deep Men and their struggles.

Courtesy- cartoonus

Because there are Deep men too
Why not? There are men who are deep thinkers. There are men who don’t pleasure only in worldly joys and the general perception that is made of men around right. A famous ad tells ‘Men will be men’. May be!!! But aren’t we talking of the exceptions.
So the first acceptance is that there are deeper men… Not only strong men. (it is a wrong notion fundamentally to see men as strong and women as deep. Either is applicable…)

Why Deep Men Struggle for a Perfect Relationship?
A man who is a deep thinker and has his own perception and thinking of life and a belief system around… It is never easy for this man to find a woman to complement these and reciprocate. Again let me upfront in telling the expectation is not to cater to the man but to his thought process… Life becomes difficult for him and he has to make obvious compromises…
It is hard to find someone to fall in love with his concept of life and thought. He will have settle for something or anything or nothing. What if he doesn’t believe in casual dating or casual sex or anything casual? What if he doesn’t believe in short term relationships? Is it wrong or sinful on his part?

Some reasons
He is expected to be the macho always.
Why? Can’t he be normal? And being normal can he not be simple. Why can’t he be have deep thoughts and have different concept of life?

He can’t be blunt.
If he is, it is considered rude. He tagged impolite and absurd. His opinions need to match or say a yes to the other half. He speaks his mind and doesn’t give much importance to the general opinion. His answers can make people uncomfortable too. In the world where everyone likes to hear things short and nice, his answers and may seem unusual.

He is tagged God:
Very easily I will you… any of his act of good will and kindness will tagged Gandhian or Godly. He is left wondering what did I do except being right as the situation demanded. He can’t react as he wants but will be forced to conform to those ‘norms’ as I call them.
He has deeper conversations: A deep Man asks questions. He may not put the woman in a situation but may force her to think. Every time you two are together; he can digging deep into the questions about life and everything else which starts from first date itself.
He may never be superficial but someone who resides in deep ideas and memories, and the better half may find it foolish .

He Knows what exactly She Wants: But may not cater to immediately with a reason. May not take her out on shopping every time and may find much joy in long conversations and times with each other. He may refuse to be materialistic and that is fine na….
He may not tell it on face but can have his own perception or understanding of what how and when. He may see anything everything casual as meaningless…

When he Gets Intimate, it’s in extremes: He may not be fearless when he is in love but he will be madly in love. He likes to cross all the lines and but would think a 100 times… and tell oneself… The other one is a woman.

So hold on….
Fearlessness isn’t showing that love on a bed with the force he pushes himself …. It can also be that unconditional care… that unbound care… that unlimited attention… That unquestioned authority he is ready to offer and seek…
If this can seen as cowardice or risk aversion or lack of boldness… What should he do? But is he wrong to think what he thought…
Believe me… He would be hurt in the process… because he will called names; He may loose the person in the process and what worse than losing the person!!! Why shouldn’t he feel suicidal…..
For some reason, if this becomes a hindrance in their successful relationship will you still blame him?

He is fearless and profound: He is never afraid of speaking his mind or sharing his thoughts. But the problem of not being able to visualize a deep man but only a strong man or a macho man is the root of all problems…
His profoundness often scares people. His bluntness makes her intimidating and rough and often takes people away from him. One needs sheer passion, conviction and strength to handle this kind of energy and most around don’t think it is worth it.

He craves for a Deep relation: If he is a thinker and philosopher, then he will prefer having a deep relationship. He prefers a woman with whom he can share her deepest secrets, dreams and expects the same from her.
For him, love means that eternal joy along with opening mentally more than physically. He wants you to tell stories from your past and learn more about your best-kept secrets and fears. Hw ill promise that never will that past comeback as a ghost and promises to stand by.

It is difficult for him to Move On:
His love isn’t simple. He would have made his choice with lot of thought and thinking. For him a loss is losing a world. He may retire to staying single post a break up. We never know…. He will wait; He believe in the power of his love. He is strong and but vulnerable, and he can be on his own but with her thoughts and his dreams.

He looks deep into the eyes… Says I Love you… He means it all….
He has a lot to handle. But wants to go it step by step…. But Love for him is apart all conditionalities…He expects a supporting shoulder.
For he is a deeper person…

Leave a comment if you agree with my friend, if you also wondered are we overdoing this man vs woman issues.

9 Comment

  1. Very meticulously written Prashanth….Loved it…

    1. Dr. Pooja Tripathi says: Reply

      Thank you Niraj, I knew you would like it

  2. I agree with both of you.. Pooja and Prashant. Being a guy can relate to Prashant more but yes equally agree with you both. On one hand the world I.e. general people need such nicely written articles explaining stereotype and generalization are not always correct. But on the other hand, I feel slightly uncomfortable that what actually is so commonsensical has become so rare. For me any sexist thoughts or arguments coming out from a volatile population is misdirected. It actually doesn’t merit a response. There are all types of people irrespective of their sexes. While we did eleborate reading about men’s and women’s point of view and struggles faced by their evolved mind, the real question here was about ‘struggles of Intelligent people’ men/woman alike. Essentially it’s the same thing written in both Articles but from different perspective. Yes stereotypes do exist for a reason but there are always exceptions.

    Once in a while the Poojas and Prashants come out to defend their tribe and go back to their shell. Funny part is the only people who actually comprehend such things are people who don’t need to understand. But still the effort to pen down views is truly appreciated and is definitely good food for thought. Occasionally it is good for men to walk into women’s territory and tell them all hope is not lost and in process also get reassurance for ourselves on our way back. We all know that Intelligence and happiness seldom go hand in hand. So there will always be a struggle in being deep, Intelligent, & evolved. Thus because of a thing, which I like to refer as “The curse of knowledge” deep or Intelligent people have difficulty in finding or maintaining relationships.

    Finally, This discussion about “Being Deep” reminds me of a popular meme circulating on FB which goes by.. “Women belong to kitchen, Men belong to kitchen, Kids belong to kitchen.. Everyone belong to kitchen.. Kitchen has food.”

    This meme was taking a dig at a archiac stereotype that Women belong to kitchen etc.. and at the end its good because it is brutally commonsensical. I would like to end my ranting on similar lines.. ” Women are deep, Men are Deep, Kids are deep.. Everyone is or should be deep because being shallow is grossly unacceptable. Period. “

    1. Dr. Pooja Tripathi says: Reply

      Thank You Kunal for such a detailed comment, I feared it to be longer than the post itself.
      And the Kitchen analogy was terrific.
      To Deep men and women, to good food and to crazy relationships.

      1. Cin cin!

  3. Some “deep” thoughts indeed. I am becoming a huge fan of your thoughts and writings Pooja. I agree with you on this one too. Men are often misunderstood and are equally susceptible to the parameters that society has created for them. A man can be a renowned chef but if he cooks for his wife and kids, then its a problem. This can be extrapolated to reflect a society’s expectations from men. And deep men find it difficult to stay in those rigid specifications. Some of them suffer as bad as(or even worse) women who feel suffocated in such norms.

  4. This is something very rare Pooja. Usually, men are not so verbal about their feelings or they don’t have words to express. Kudos to your friend to bring this aspect of men in spotlight.

  5. That’s way too deep – I am almost asking myself how deep am I? Most of the time society conditions us to things which may not be true in reality.

  6. I believe deep men and women are rare species…Not very easy to find them in our world….I come across such people when travelling….Not everyone will understand the above article…

    Prasanth have written it well….:)

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