Meet the Many having the same address #M #AtoZChallenge

While many movies portray Dissociative  Personality disorder perfectly it’s Split that left me in awe and yeah the ending.

The big twist comes after the plot has been resolved and even a “Split” title card comes on screen. We then cut to a diner where a TV news report tells patrons about the events we’ve just seen, and that Casey’s captor (James McAvoy) is at large and has been dubbed with the name “The Horde”. Three women begin discussing these events and one says, “Wasn’t there a guy in a wheelchair about 15 years ago? What was his name?” David Dunn (Bruce Willis) then leans forward and says, “Mr. Glass.” The camera then lingers on Dunn’s face, strongly suggesting that the emerging superhero from Shyamalan’s 2000 film will face off against The Horde.

For those who never saw Unbreakable (spoilers ahead for a 17-year-old movie), the film follows David Dunn, a security guard who’s the lone survivor of a massive train crash. Dunn eventually comes to learn that he has superpowers and that the man he thought was his mentor, Elijah Price aka Mr. Glass (Samuel L. Jackson), is actually his archnemesis. It’s a fascinating look at the tropes of the superhero genre and trying to reposition them into a more realistic framework. While the twist at the end feels unnecessary (Price is revealed to have orchestrated a series of accidents through flashbacks we couldn’t have possibly known about), the movie as a whole is fairly interesting and it’s certainly worth watching.

(Inputs from Split movie, collider)

We leave you with a poem on Multiple Personality Disorder instead:

06/03/2017 – 11.15 am

She walked into the clinic

With stilettos that sparked gold

And a skirt that whirled like poetry

She pushed the door instead of pull

‘Fuck!!” Get a slider door doc

Hello Ms. Joshi said Dr. Panicker

How are you feeling today?

Ecstatic, I just had a healing spa

Wonderful Tina, Tell me how was your week?

It was good, I am working on my new exhibition

Wow, now that’s some news.

And I am over Robert now

I think I should love myself

Perfect Tina. Let’s see your case sheet.

 

13/03/2017 11. 15 am

Doctor rushes into clinic

Only to find Robert there

“Hey Doc, You are late” with a grin

Sorry Robert, was caught in traffic”

And by the way nice shoes.

Oh, I love glitters”

Cool! So how was your week

Bad doc, breakups suck.

They Do, but it’s just a matter of time

Let me have a look at your case sheet.

I hope you are sleeping okay, no waking up all night

I try doc, I do try. She seems to have moved on.

Will you try talking to Tina Doc, Just the bro thing

I will try Robert and if she doesn’t let her go.

And continue the pills. Text me if you need something

Robert stands up to leave and pulls the door .

Push it outside Robert”

Fuck! Get a slider door Doc”

Being alone is not the same as being lonely #L #Loneliness #AtoZChallenge

We’re all a bit scared of loneliness – of being alone. Of being left. Of not being loved. Or needed. Or cared about. “Lonely” hits a spot of fear in all of us even if we don’t acknowledge it.

Being alone is a state of being by oneself without others around. It can actually be a healthy phenomenon, as everyone needs a little time away from others to plan, to think, and to rest.

However, being lonely is a different matter entirely. We are especially prone to loneliness in the modern society. Social media like Facebook, Whatsapp, or Snapchat may allow more convenient communication, but all these ways of communication neglect the importance of face-to-face socialization.

And at the end, despite many “friends” we have on the online media, they don’t really have anyone to talk to when they need friends most.

We prefer online communication to face-to-face conversation because online communication is less committed, if you don’t respond instantly, it’s okay. But face-to-face conversation doesn’t really need to be stressful. When you’re with someone who you can be comfortable with, silence is precious too.

Audrey Hepburn once said:

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others”

This quote highlights the importance of helping others, and also highlights the fact that most of the time we are the key to many problems we are facing; in other words, you can cure your loneliness.

Giving others a hand will help you realize your value, as you discover you are capable of doing so. And helping others also open up opportunities of deep friendships, as very often, a deep relationship is forged in adversity.

When we talk about “helping others”, you don’t need to always save others by risking life. You can just pay attention to details.

Write your colleague a card if he or she is unhappy. Read out loud for the old man living next to you. Or help a child to reach the top of a rack

#SpeakingCinema

Charulata –  Charulata, a beautiful saga of loneliness by Styajit ray himself  is based on a story by Rabindranath Tagore, Nastanirh (The broken Nest) and set in Calcutta in the late nineteenth century. Bengal Renaissance is at its peak and India is under the British rule. The film revolves around Charulata / Charu (Madhabi Mukherjee), the childless, intelligent and beautiful wife of Bhupati (Sailen Mukherjee). He edits and publishes a political newspaper. Bhupati is an upper class Bengali intellectual with a keen interest in politics and the freedom movement.

Charu is interested in the arts, literature and poetry. Though Bhupati loves his wife, he has no time for her. She has little to do in the house run by a fleet of servants. Sensing her boredom, Bhupati invites Charu’s elder brother Umapada and wife Manda to live with them. Umapada helps in running of the magazine and the printing press. Manda with her silly and crude ways is no company for the sensitive and intelligent Charulata.

Amal (Soumitra Chatterjee), Bhupati’s younger cousin comes on a visit. Bhupati asks him to encourage Charu’s cultural interests. Amal is young, handsome and is of the same age group as Charu. He has literary ambitions and shares her interests in poetry. He provides her with much needed intellectual companionship and attention. An intimate relationship develops between Charulata and Amal. There is a hint of rivalry when she publishes a short story on her own without his knowledge. He realizes that Charulata is in love with him but is reluctant to reciprocate due to the guilt involved.

As a respect to Satyajit Ray, we will discuss Charulata only in detail.

In Charulata, Satyajit Ray explores the emergence of the modern woman in the upper-class of colonial India. One can not help drawing parallels with Ibsen’s A Doll’s House.

The opening sequence is a piece of cinematic poetry. We see the young wife Charulata moving from one window to another in her house. She observes the activities of the outside world through the window blinds using opera glasses. She is like a caged bird in her mansion. We sense her curiosity and desire to know the outside world.

As she moves to the interior corridor of the house, we see her intellectual husband. He is too engrossed in a book and walks past her without even noticing her presence. She watches him as he walks away and stands reading. Charu raises her opera glasses and looks again as if he too belongs to the outside world. As Bhupati disappears from the view, she is expressionless and lets the opera glasses slip down. The camera is pulled back sharply, “like a flourish with a pen at the end of an essay …” in Ray’s words. Without a dialogue being spoken, we know Charulata is condemned to her loneliness and boredom.

In the final sequence, as Bhupati returns home after wandering aimlessly, Charu opens the door. Gently and with hesitation, she asks him to enter. A wavering Bhupati enters the door and reaches toward her hand. The shot is frozen and is followed with still images of Charu’s half-lit face, Bhupati’s half-lit face, a servant holding a lamp, a mid-shot of Charu and Bhupati and finally a long-shot of them. As the music rises the words “Nastanirh” (Bengali, The Broken Nest) fill the screen. It was ray’s cinematic answer to Tagore’s original ending in which Bhupati has to go out of town and Charu asks him to take her with him. He hesitates to which Charu says “Thak” meaning “Let it be”. As Ray explained later, it was his visual equivalent of the word “Thak”. “The two are about to reconcile and then prevented from doing so.”

Hail Satyajit Ray.

May be it’s not just a habit #Kleptomania

There are three stages of stealing- Stealing because you need it, stealing just because of a habit and third being recurrent failure to resist urges to steal items that you generally don’t really need and that usually have little value.

Kleptomania is a type of impulse control disorder — a disorder that’s characterized by problems with emotional or behavioral self-control. If you have an impulse control disorder, you have difficulty resisting the temptation or drive to perform an act that’s excessive or harmful to you or someone else.

Many people with kleptomania live lives of secret shame because they’re afraid to seek mental health treatment. Although there’s no cure for kleptomania, treatment with medication or psychotherapy may be able to help end the cycle of compulsive stealing.

Episodes of kleptomania generally occur spontaneously, usually without planning and without help or collaboration from another person.Most people with kleptomania steal from public places, such as stores and supermarkets. Some may steal from friends or acquaintances.

Keep in mind that kleptomania is a mental health condition, not a character flaw, and approach your loved one without blame or accusatio

#SpeakingCinema

Mom, Dad and Her: Sydney is a troubled who has been caught shoplifting and a case of alcohol poisoning, Sydney’s desperate single mother sends her off to the country to live with her father, Ben, and his family. A story of father- daughter relationship.

 

 

 

 

The Film Critic: Victor (Rafael Spregelburd), the  film critic! And he’s been at it for a while, since he conflates cinema with reality, he’s broke, so when a producer asks him to write scenes for a script, he can’t afford to decline. He hates romantic comedies because they’re shallow and predictable, but he falls into one when he competes for an apartment with Sofía (Dolores Fonzi), a beautiful kleptomaniac. He fights his feelings, but she’s a manic pixie dream girl.

 

Seek help before this impulsive disorder lands you into trouble.

Just go to hell……….Ae Dil #J #AtoZChallenge

Let’s talk about one factor that leads to anxious days, sleepless nights and depressing moments- Toxic Relationships.

Courtesy- EliteDaily

Relationships turn toxic and because that’s how addiction is, trying to find comfort in the same thing that’s destroying you. But you still fight for it, you fight for same thing that has destroyed you.

This poem is for the toxic relationships:

“You grow up with the tales that fool you

the karmic relationships

The happily ever afte

The beautiful families that go on vacations

The kiss under the stars

The love that never fades

Walking on sand with hand to hand

Comes an emotionally unavailable man

You wake up to his texts

And nights that say “i miss you”

They aren’t toxic at first

and that is how you fall

Comes the anger, the desire, the shame

the outbursts, expectations and the pain

You knew that was not normal

Screaming, fighting and just fucking

The fact is

Nothing will work

That expensive hair cut in a posh saloon

Books that tell you to move on

Shopping spree that makes you broke

TED talks that friends suggest

Eat pray and love never exists

Love happens when you least expect it

and so does shit

 

Don’t act normal when you want him back

Don’t say you have moved on when you have not

Don’t date men and still look for him

You still want to make it work and don’t deny that

Just take your time and shake yourself up

Remember the expensive heels that you

never wore but regret buying anyways

Love happens when you least expect it

and so does shit anyways”

So if love is, being there for another person while things are good and then sprinting, the minute things get bad, that is not “Love”

Courtesy- TinyBuddha

 

 

The Incredible Irresistible Introverts #I #AtoZChallenge

Courtesy- Lifehack

Introverts are some of the most underrated and misjudged people today, and how most people perceive them is far from who they really are and what they really do.
Extroverts tend to be better at communicating and expressing their thoughts and feelings, while introverts are known to be reserved and hesitant when it comes to disclosing, and the movies listed can be a basic and useful guide for extroverts to understand and see the world in an introvert’s eyes.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower” shows through a protagonist called Charlie  that introverts always have thoughts inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them.. It is so moving and will bring back good and bad memories from high school that would make not just introverts, but everyone, feel nostalgic and emotional.

Celebrated French director Jean-Pierre Jeunet directed the 2001 comedy-drama, which received recognition both critically and commercially. “Amélie” is a beautiful movie depicting a story of a lonely woman, who is not great at having conversations, but she is probably the most inspiring introvert character of all.

When they connect, the connect is special. An introvert is letting you know they’re interested in connecting with you beyond a superficial level. They’re displaying a level of intimacy and vulnerability that not many people get to see, like “The Station Agent”  film directed by Tom McCarthy, which revolves around the life of Fin, a man with dwarfism, who lives in solitude in an abandoned train depot.

Following a personal tragedy, Fin retired from his job and chose to live alone, but he finds himself growing closer to his neighbors each day and the bond that is displayed is beautiful.

We all dream of having a partner with whom we can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart.

This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re having a bad day or are homesick, you know who can make you feel better.

I don’t have friends,Watson”

Yep, You’re right. I’m talking about the famous character ever made, not only in books but also in the screen- Sherlock.

In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face and bet they are charming.

Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention.While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.

Movies and television shows often portray introverts this way.  From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular.

Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like and Can’t Buy Me Love where a bet happens over making geek introverts into popular extroverts.

Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are.

Be you all introverts, believe me you make best of friends, amazing partners and super caring siblings.

 

How to speak about your mental condition #H #AtoZChallenge

OK. We have made a lot of hoopla around mental health and the forms of illness and we will continue that.

But the question that i was asked by a reader was how to speak about it. And gosh, that is important and we completely missed it.

If you recognize symptoms of any common mental health problem and are worried, or if you feel that something isn’t right but you can’t put your finger on why, we recommend that you speak to someone in family, someone who cares and then therapist.

Some of the most frequently experienced symptoms include:

  • loss of apetite
  • feeling low or constantly anxious or worrying
  • thinking negative thoughts about yourself
  • irritability or moodiness
  • finding it harder than usual to concentrate
  • not enjoying your life as much as you once did
  • finding day-to-day life difficult (not feeling up to washing or eating, for example)
  • trouble sleeping, or sleeping too much
  • seeing or hearing things that other people do not see or hear

One thing is important- You may be generally sad and not depressed even with these symptoms, it’s the persistence of these symptoms over a period of time that is crucial.

It can be daunting to speak to someone that you may not know well about your mental health, but most people find that speaking  can make all the difference to their lives.

And this “Speaking Up” is not a cake walk and we know that. Make some pointers before you speak to your therapist:

  • Be patient, the treatment mat take time.
  • Communication is the key- Your doctor is not a mind reader or an astrologer, communicate clearly about your life events or thought process so that he/ she can come up with proper diagnosis.
  • State your expectations and understand his limitations
  • Be a good person with timely follow back.
  • Remember that diagnosing and treating depression takes time and expertise, so if your goal is to make your symptoms disappear immediately, you’re likely to be disappointed
  • Treat him/her as a friend rather than a doctor.

Speaking Cinema

One movie that hugely impressed me with a patient- therapist relationship is Dear Zindagi. This  exploration of the inner life of a young successful, ambitious woman confused with relationships (Sounds familiar……Na?) is fairly unprecedented in Bollywood. In Tanu Weds Manu 2, we do get a chance to see Tanu’s  bipolar struggles. But the shabby treatment of the movie and a predictable attempt to make it comedy with punchlines like

“Tu Kaun hai be?”

“Main kandha hun”( I am that shoulder on which girls lean). ………….Oh please, give me some better jokes.

Instead, in the opening scene, Tanu manages to turn marriage counselling into an opportunity to get her husband locked up in an asylum.(WTF) In Queen, Rani needs the trip to Paris to transform herself into this confident avatar (But we ain’t geeting Paris dear ladies)

It’s soothing, therefore, to hear Khan tell Kiara that she doesn’t have to forgive her parents or confront them for abandoning her. To hear Khan tell Kiara that she is not “cheap” but “superfine” to not settle for the first man who comes down the pike. Kiara has  nightmares about society judging her for being unmarried and unloved. (Happening with definitely me).It’s even more soothing when Khan tells Kiara that no society — no matter how judgmental — doesn’t have to think well of her, as long as she thinks well of herself.

The best part about this movie is how Gauri shinde doesn’t create any love angle between therapist and Kaira. And that is how it should be, we all are left crushing over Shahrukh and a rocking chair. But what we leave behind is :

When Kaira confesses about life being an interminable musical in so far as the new singer guy in her life is concerned, SRK’s Dr Khan is quick to retort with a good humoured jibe: “Aur tumhein to dialogue pasand hain (You like dialogues)”. Or when he himself says “we are all our own teachers in the school of life” and then comes back with “ye kuchh zyada heavy ho gaya (it’s too heavy-handed)”. Oh, we love you Shahrukh.

Dear Zindagi is a breezy change in the rare movies pertaining to mental health. I will leave you with a beautiful deleted scene of Dear Zindagi.

 

A – Tracing Autism through Dustin Hoffman to Darsheel Safary

 

Autism, or autism spectrum disorder, refers to a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, as well as by unique strengths and differences. Autism’s most-obvious signs tend to appear between 2 and 3 years of age. In some cases, it can be diagnosed as early as 18 months

In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association merged four previously distinct diagnoses into one umbrella diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). These included autistic disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) and Asperger syndrome

Children with AS will display some symptoms of autism in quite a pronounced way. They may engage in obsessive routines, odd speech patterns and other peculiar mannerisms but are less affected overall. They display an unusual sensitivity to sensory stimuli, e.g. they may cover their ears to block out sounds in the environment or they may prefer to wear clothing made only of a certain material or avoid eye contact.

AS is characterised by poorly impaired social skills. In spite of having normal to above average intelligence and language development, children are unable to communicate effectively with others and have poor coordination. They are sometimes described as active but odd, they tend to relate in a narrow way. Their activities are usually centred on their needs and peculiar interests. They have few facial expressions and have difficulty in reading the body language of others.

A puzzling feature of individuals with AS is their inability to comprehend what friendship is all about. Most are either indifferent to the idea of friendships or have no idea how to make friends

  • The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates autism’s prevalence as 1 in 68 children in the United States. This includes 1 in 42 boys and 1 in 189 girls.
  • An estimated 50,000 teens with autism become adults – and lose school-based autism services – each year.
  • Around one third of people with autism remain nonverbal.
  • Around one third of people with autism have an intellectual disability.
  • Certain medical and mental health issues frequently accompany autism. They include gastrointestinal (GI) disorders, seizures, sleep disturbances, attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety and phobias

The first grand exposure of Autism in cinema was  Barry Levinson’s Oscar-winner Rain Man  in 1988. But there it did some damage, when i recently suggested a friend when i observed their child that he may be autistic, he had this vague idea of autistic children being genius with incredible memory skills, when the vast majority of them aren’t.

In the case of Bollywood mega hit My Name Is Khan (2010), Shahrukh Kahn’s title character’s Muslim faith is just as important, and as much an engine for the film’s baroque melodrama, as the fact that he has Asperger’s syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism.

Of the recent crop of features about people on the spectrum, one of the strongest is biopic Temple Grandin about  the world’s most famous person with ASC. Of the ones hovering near to reality are The Autism Puzzle made in 2003 but still very relevant, and Neurotypical

One of my most favorite and an eye opener film was Taare Zameen Par featuring Darsheel Safary as dyslexic child, Ishan Aswasthi is ridiculed at school and at home for not being able to write and read properly. He has developmental dyslexia.The discovery of Ishan’s artistic talent and the way it blooms under the care of his art teacher is the most important (and joyous) neurocognitive phenomenon in the film.In remedial training in children with dyslexia, it is important to facilitate the development of their unique artistic and other abilities to its full capacity rather than to overemphasize on the correction of the disturbed coded symbol operations. This film should be an eyeopener to parents of dyslexic children. The entire team and in particular the young artist, Darsheel, who so vividly portrays the helplessness of a disabled child, deserve our appreciation.

Drop us a comment or mail us at drpoojatripathi1902@gmail.com, We at “The Bachpan Project” will help you sail through understanding your child’s condition.

I am participating in Ato Z blogging challenge 2017.

 

हम सब में दरार है जो दिखती नहीं 2: सिर्फ ब्रेकअप से डिप्रेशन नहीं होता

fallen_leaves__by_mjob-d5zpspx

दरार जो बताता है कि कुछ टूट गया है, कुछ दरक गया है, शायद आर पार नहीं, कोई टुकड़ा नहीं पर दरार बताती है कि कुछ टूटा जरुर है. कुछ पिघल गया है अन्दर मोम की तरह जो चाह कर भी वैसा नहीं हो पा रहा जैसा पहले था. पर जरुरत भी क्या है पहले जैसे होने की, हम कोई नया, कोई सुन्दर ढांचा भी तो ले सकते हैं ….आखिर जीना इसी का नाम है.

मैं मिलती हूँ एक ऐसी लड़की से जिसने अपना काम छोड़ दिया और घर आकर रहने लगी है . एक ऐसा काम जिसे हम सब सफलता के और आगे बढ़ने के पैमाने मानते हैं. मैं पूछती हूँ क्यूँ, वो कहती है “डिप्रेशन में है”. मैं  पूछने की जरुरत नहीं समझती, अपने आप ये मान बैठती हूँ कि कोई ब्रेकअप या दिल टूटने का चक्कर होगा. मैं एक डॉक्टर होकर भी ये ऑटो मोड में मान बैठती हूँ. पता चलता है कि ऐसा कुछ नहीं था. सब सही जा रहा था- एक अच्छी खासी सैलरी बैंक में आ रही थी, एक फ्लैट था पास में, पासपोर्ट पर स्टाम्प लग रहे थे, वीकेंड भी मजेदार होता था , डेटिंग भी हो रही थी ……फिर ये डिप्रेशन क्यूँ?

इस क्यूँ का किसी के पास कोई जवाब नहीं. बस यूँ ही मन उचट जाता है हर उस चीज़ से जिसे हम एक माइलस्टोन की तरह देखते हैं, हमारी बकेट लिस्ट में शायद टिक लगते रहे पर हम उतने ही उदास भी हो सकते हैं. ये बेवजह, बेमतलब और बेहद उदास करने वाला होता है. ये डिप्रेशन होता है. डिप्रेशन सच में एक दरार की तरह है जिसे न थामा गया तो सब कुछ ढह जाता है, देखते देखते हमारे सामने. और हम वही एक प्रश्न के साथ पीछे रह जाते हैं- पर डिप्रेशन क्यूँ?

इस क्यूँ के पीछे क्यूँ भागना. क्या सच में अगर हमें क्यूँ मिल भी जाए तो क्या सब कुछ ठीक हो जायेगा? नहीं……कभी नहीं. अवसाद या डिप्रेशन किसी भी क्यूँ, क्या, कैसे और कहाँ से ऊपर उठ चुका होता है. मैं अपनी उस नयी सहेली को अपने बचपन का किस्सा सुनाती हूँ जब मैं एक मेले में खो गयी थी और सिर्फ इसीलिए “खोया पाया सेण्टर” में आये अपने माँ पापा को पहचानने से इनकार कर दिया था क्यूंकि उस सेंटर में मुझे सेब खाने को दिया गया था और मुझे डर था कि अगर मैंने माँ पापा को पहचाना तो वो सेब वापस ले लिया जायेगा.

वह जोर से हंसती है, इतने जोर से कि उसकी आँखों में आँसूं आ जाते हैं. तो बस अपने डिप्रेस्ड दोस्त, भाई, बहिन, किसी जाने पहचाने वाले को इतने जोर से हंसाओ कि आँसूं आ जाये. आओ सड़े हुये जोक्स मारें, आओ बेवकूफियां करें, आओ हम भूल जायें कि हम बड़े हैं और बिना किसी कारण के, बिना किसी मतलब के बस ठहाके मार के हँसे और उन्हें वापस ले आयें. आप जानते हैं कि मैंने आंसूं लाने की बात क्यूँ की ? आँसू दिखाता है कि जो जम गया है वो पिघल रहा है और जब तक वो पिघलेगा नहीं हम उससे कुछ नया, कुछ सुन्दर कैसे बनायेंगे.

दवाओं को अपना काम करने दीजिये बस दोस्ती की, इंसान होने के पंख लगा दीजिये. फिर देखिये कौन  सा डिप्रेशन, कैसा डिप्रेशन. हमें समझना होगा, हमें समझाना होगा, हमें साथ देना होगा हर उस शख्स से जो लड़ रहा है ये लड़ाई, इस लड़ाई में इंसान बीमारी से बाद में हारता है किसी के न परवाह करने से, अपनों की उदासीनता से पहले हार जाता है. आप जिनसे प्यार करते हैं, जो आपकी ज़िन्दगी का एक हिस्सा हैं, उनका हाथ पकड़िये, उन्हें बिना किसी जजमेंट के सुनिये, उनकी जगह खुद को रखिये, उनकी उदासी के पीछे छिपे एक खूबसूरत चेहरे से उन्हें फिर से मिलाइये क्यूंकि सच तो ये है कि……

हम सब में दरार है, जो दिखती नहीं.

मेंटल इलनेस के ब्लॉग पोस्ट्स के पहले हिस्से के लिये क्लिक करें :

 

 

 

 

हम सब में दरार है, जो दिखती नहीं

dilapidated-house_3399
Courtesy:Andrew Mclachlan Photography

कुछ दिन पहले पोएट्री के  एक इवेंट में गयी थी .यहाँ 15 लोग आये थे, 15 अजनबी जो एक दूसरे को बिलकुल भी नहीं जानते थे, 15 कहानियाँ, 15 कवितायेँ, 15 मन  और सैंकड़ों दरारें. साथ में रहते, एक दूसरे को अपनी ज़िन्दगी में आने का, झाँकने का न्योता देते वे 15 लोग एक दूसरे को बिल्कुल नहीं जज कर रहे थे. समझने की कोशिश कर रहे थे, सहारा देने की कोशिश, 14 जोड़ी आँखें जो हर किसी को कह रही थी “सब ठीक हो जायेगा”.

हमने बातें की, लम्बी बातें और मैंने जाना कि ख़ुशी कितनी सब्जेक्टिव चीज़ होती है. हम फासलों के बीच तैरते हैं, फैसलों पर रुकते हैं ,एक ख़ुशी का दौर तो एक तकलीफ की लहर और इन्हीं सब के बीच हम ज़िन्दगी नाम की किताब के क्लाइमेक्स में पहुँच जाते हैं. हम सभी 18-30 की उम्र के थे. हमने बातें की अपनी कमजोरियों के बारे में, अपने डर के बारे में, अपनी गलतियों के बारे में, अपने सपनों के बारे में और अपने अपनों के बारे में.

मैंने जाना कि हर dysfunctional family, हर टूटते हुये रिश्ते, हर विश्वास की दरें लांघता कोई टच,  हर ऊँची आवाज़ और हर दबी हुई सिसकी के निशान होते हैं, निशान जो पीछे छोड़ जाते हैं मानसिक बीमारी के रूप में. मेंटल इलनेस सिर्फ पागलपन नहीं होता, यह बस यूँ ही रुलाई फूट जाने वाले डिप्रेशन से शुरू होकर मैनियाक तक पहुँच सकता है.

मैं एक दोस्त से मिलती हूँ, चुप रहता है पर कवितायेँ इंटेंस हैं, ऐसी कविता जिसे सुनकर रोंगटे खड़े हो जायें पर इस चुप्पी के पीछे कुछ है, ये वो सन्नाटा है जो चाहा  नहीं है, ये वो सन्नाटा है जो लड़ रहा है आपसे भीतर ही भीतर .पता चलता है कि वो बाइपोलर डिसऑर्डर से लड़ रहा है. यह एक प्रकार की मानसिक बीमारी है, जिसमे मन लगातार कई हफ़्तो तक या महिनों तक या तो बहुत उदास या फ़िर अत्यधिक खुश रहता है | उदासी में नकारात्मक तथा मैनिया में मन में ऊँचे ऊँचे विचार आते हैं | और मैनिया के एक ऐसे ही एपिसोड में उसने अपने साथ साथ 4 और लोगों की ज़िन्दगी को जोखिम में दाल दिया. उस दिन इसने सोचा कि मेडिकल हेल्प लेगा और तब से दवा ले रहा है. मैं उसे कहती हूँ कि इस बारे में  बात करने के कारण मैं बहुत इज्ज़त करती हूँ उसकी और वो जब चाहे मुझसे बात कर सकता है.

मिलती हूँ एक ऐसी लड़की से जो चाइल्ड एब्यूज के जख्म को अब तक पाले हुये है. उस बारे में बात करते उसके आँखों में डर तैर जाता है, हडबडाहट  दिखने लगती है, वो आँखें नहीं मिलाती, वो बात करते हुये भी बात पलट देना चाहती है. वो स्ट्रोंग सी दिखती लड़की जो डरी सहमी उस छोटी लड़की को बुलाती है, उसे गले लगाना चाहती है पर ठिठक जाती है और बस देखती है उस बच्ची को सुबकते. मैं उसे गले लगाते हुये कहती हूँ कि हम सबके सफ़र में कुछ अँधेरे हैं पर उनसे डरना नहीं है. वह मुस्कुराती है, कोर पर एक आँसू टिक गया है और उस आँसूं के रिफ्लेकशन.में मुझे वो बच्ची दिखाई देती है

ये जो आसान ज़िन्दगी दिखती है न बाहर से, ये किसी की आसान नहीं है. एक भीड़ में भी तनहा आदमी , अधूरी ख्वाहिशें की खुरचन में जीती वो औरत, किसी की उम्मीदों का बोझ ढोते एक लड़का, एक परफेक्ट से सांचे में खुद को घुसाते एक लड़की, बचपन में किसी शैतान के चंगुल में फंसना या किसी फ़रिश्ते का हाथ सर से उठ जाना या फिर बिना किसी वजह बस उदासी का पैठ जाना………..कितना कुछ तो तैयार करता है मेंटल इलनेस के लिये ज़मीन.

हमें समझना होगा, हमें समझाना होगा, हमें साथ देना होगा हर उस शख्स से जो लड़ रहा है ये लड़ाई, इस लड़ाई में इंसान बीमारी से बाद में हारता है किसी के न परवाह करने से, अपनों की उदासीनता से पहले हार जाता है. आप जिनसे प्यार करते हैं, जो आपकी ज़िन्दगी का एक हिस्सा हैं, उनका हाथ पकड़िये, उन्हें बिना किसी जजमेंट के सुनिये, उनकी जगह खुद को रखिये, उनकी उदासी के पीछे छिपे एक खूबसूरत चेहरे से उन्हें फिर से मिलाइये क्यूंकि सच तो ये है कि……

हम सब में दरार है, जो दिखती नहीं.