No Country for old men

Population ageing is a global issue, which has been recognized to have implications on the health care and social welfare systems. The process whereby the proportion of children in the population decreases and those of old persons increases is known as the “ageing of population”. The global population of elderly has constantly been increasing during the second half of the last century. This has been possible due to easy availability of life saving drugs, control of famines, and various communicable diseases, better awareness and supply of nutrition and health facilities and comparatively better overall standard of living. These achievements have resulted in drastic reduction in mortality rates and substantial increase in the life expectancy at birth and the overall span of people.

Ageing is a continuous, irreversible, universal process, which starts from conception till the death of an individual. However, the age at which one’s productive contribution declines and one tends to be economically dependent can probably be treated as the onset of the aged stage of life.With the rapidly increasing number of aged compounded by disintegration of joint families and ever increasing influence of modernization and new life styles, the care of elderly has emerged as an important issue in India.

The common psychological problems that most of the older persons experience are : feeling of powerlessness, feeling of inferiority, depression, uselessness, isolation and reduced competence. These problems along with social disabilities like widowhood, societal prejudice and segregation aggravate the frustration of elderly people.

#SpeakingCinema

We start our Speaking Cinema with a movie that is winning critical acclaim all over for its  tale  of emotional depth and understated paradox, Hotel Salvation (Mukti Bhawan) describes the tragicomic ordeal of an over-worked modern son who is forced to set his job aside and accompany his elderly father to the holy city of Varanasi to, presumably, die.

Driving Miss daisy is about an old Jewish woman and her African-American chauffeur in the American South have a relationship that grows and improves over the years.

The Bucket List features two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.

The bolywood movie Baghban was a tell tale of the ignorance and loneliness that ensues after a family betrays its old ones.A love story of an elderly couple resonated with many.

Cheeni Kum was one standalone movie depicting the emotional and sexual desires of an aged man who falls for a girl much younger of his age.

Perhaps the greatest portrayal of one’s final years is Kurosawa’s Ikiru in particular the scene where Takashi Shimura unexpectedly sings in a crowded nightclub, the boys and girls around him silent, reminded of their own fleeting mortality.

As a standout portrayal of the elderly in film, Tatie Danielle stands out. for its delicious subversion of the kindly old lady role. At 82 years old Danielle is not sweet, considerate or cute, she can be smart, cunning and deliciously bad, non- angel types.

 

Being alone is not the same as being lonely #L #Loneliness #AtoZChallenge

We’re all a bit scared of loneliness – of being alone. Of being left. Of not being loved. Or needed. Or cared about. “Lonely” hits a spot of fear in all of us even if we don’t acknowledge it.

Being alone is a state of being by oneself without others around. It can actually be a healthy phenomenon, as everyone needs a little time away from others to plan, to think, and to rest.

However, being lonely is a different matter entirely. We are especially prone to loneliness in the modern society. Social media like Facebook, Whatsapp, or Snapchat may allow more convenient communication, but all these ways of communication neglect the importance of face-to-face socialization.

And at the end, despite many “friends” we have on the online media, they don’t really have anyone to talk to when they need friends most.

We prefer online communication to face-to-face conversation because online communication is less committed, if you don’t respond instantly, it’s okay. But face-to-face conversation doesn’t really need to be stressful. When you’re with someone who you can be comfortable with, silence is precious too.

Audrey Hepburn once said:

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others”

This quote highlights the importance of helping others, and also highlights the fact that most of the time we are the key to many problems we are facing; in other words, you can cure your loneliness.

Giving others a hand will help you realize your value, as you discover you are capable of doing so. And helping others also open up opportunities of deep friendships, as very often, a deep relationship is forged in adversity.

When we talk about “helping others”, you don’t need to always save others by risking life. You can just pay attention to details.

Write your colleague a card if he or she is unhappy. Read out loud for the old man living next to you. Or help a child to reach the top of a rack

#SpeakingCinema

Charulata –  Charulata, a beautiful saga of loneliness by Styajit ray himself  is based on a story by Rabindranath Tagore, Nastanirh (The broken Nest) and set in Calcutta in the late nineteenth century. Bengal Renaissance is at its peak and India is under the British rule. The film revolves around Charulata / Charu (Madhabi Mukherjee), the childless, intelligent and beautiful wife of Bhupati (Sailen Mukherjee). He edits and publishes a political newspaper. Bhupati is an upper class Bengali intellectual with a keen interest in politics and the freedom movement.

Charu is interested in the arts, literature and poetry. Though Bhupati loves his wife, he has no time for her. She has little to do in the house run by a fleet of servants. Sensing her boredom, Bhupati invites Charu’s elder brother Umapada and wife Manda to live with them. Umapada helps in running of the magazine and the printing press. Manda with her silly and crude ways is no company for the sensitive and intelligent Charulata.

Amal (Soumitra Chatterjee), Bhupati’s younger cousin comes on a visit. Bhupati asks him to encourage Charu’s cultural interests. Amal is young, handsome and is of the same age group as Charu. He has literary ambitions and shares her interests in poetry. He provides her with much needed intellectual companionship and attention. An intimate relationship develops between Charulata and Amal. There is a hint of rivalry when she publishes a short story on her own without his knowledge. He realizes that Charulata is in love with him but is reluctant to reciprocate due to the guilt involved.

As a respect to Satyajit Ray, we will discuss Charulata only in detail.

In Charulata, Satyajit Ray explores the emergence of the modern woman in the upper-class of colonial India. One can not help drawing parallels with Ibsen’s A Doll’s House.

The opening sequence is a piece of cinematic poetry. We see the young wife Charulata moving from one window to another in her house. She observes the activities of the outside world through the window blinds using opera glasses. She is like a caged bird in her mansion. We sense her curiosity and desire to know the outside world.

As she moves to the interior corridor of the house, we see her intellectual husband. He is too engrossed in a book and walks past her without even noticing her presence. She watches him as he walks away and stands reading. Charu raises her opera glasses and looks again as if he too belongs to the outside world. As Bhupati disappears from the view, she is expressionless and lets the opera glasses slip down. The camera is pulled back sharply, “like a flourish with a pen at the end of an essay …” in Ray’s words. Without a dialogue being spoken, we know Charulata is condemned to her loneliness and boredom.

In the final sequence, as Bhupati returns home after wandering aimlessly, Charu opens the door. Gently and with hesitation, she asks him to enter. A wavering Bhupati enters the door and reaches toward her hand. The shot is frozen and is followed with still images of Charu’s half-lit face, Bhupati’s half-lit face, a servant holding a lamp, a mid-shot of Charu and Bhupati and finally a long-shot of them. As the music rises the words “Nastanirh” (Bengali, The Broken Nest) fill the screen. It was ray’s cinematic answer to Tagore’s original ending in which Bhupati has to go out of town and Charu asks him to take her with him. He hesitates to which Charu says “Thak” meaning “Let it be”. As Ray explained later, it was his visual equivalent of the word “Thak”. “The two are about to reconcile and then prevented from doing so.”

Hail Satyajit Ray.

May be it’s not just a habit #Kleptomania

There are three stages of stealing- Stealing because you need it, stealing just because of a habit and third being recurrent failure to resist urges to steal items that you generally don’t really need and that usually have little value.

Kleptomania is a type of impulse control disorder — a disorder that’s characterized by problems with emotional or behavioral self-control. If you have an impulse control disorder, you have difficulty resisting the temptation or drive to perform an act that’s excessive or harmful to you or someone else.

Many people with kleptomania live lives of secret shame because they’re afraid to seek mental health treatment. Although there’s no cure for kleptomania, treatment with medication or psychotherapy may be able to help end the cycle of compulsive stealing.

Episodes of kleptomania generally occur spontaneously, usually without planning and without help or collaboration from another person.Most people with kleptomania steal from public places, such as stores and supermarkets. Some may steal from friends or acquaintances.

Keep in mind that kleptomania is a mental health condition, not a character flaw, and approach your loved one without blame or accusatio

#SpeakingCinema

Mom, Dad and Her: Sydney is a troubled who has been caught shoplifting and a case of alcohol poisoning, Sydney’s desperate single mother sends her off to the country to live with her father, Ben, and his family. A story of father- daughter relationship.

 

 

 

 

The Film Critic: Victor (Rafael Spregelburd), the  film critic! And he’s been at it for a while, since he conflates cinema with reality, he’s broke, so when a producer asks him to write scenes for a script, he can’t afford to decline. He hates romantic comedies because they’re shallow and predictable, but he falls into one when he competes for an apartment with Sofía (Dolores Fonzi), a beautiful kleptomaniac. He fights his feelings, but she’s a manic pixie dream girl.

 

Seek help before this impulsive disorder lands you into trouble.

The Incredible Irresistible Introverts #I #AtoZChallenge

Courtesy- Lifehack

Introverts are some of the most underrated and misjudged people today, and how most people perceive them is far from who they really are and what they really do.
Extroverts tend to be better at communicating and expressing their thoughts and feelings, while introverts are known to be reserved and hesitant when it comes to disclosing, and the movies listed can be a basic and useful guide for extroverts to understand and see the world in an introvert’s eyes.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower” shows through a protagonist called Charlie  that introverts always have thoughts inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them.. It is so moving and will bring back good and bad memories from high school that would make not just introverts, but everyone, feel nostalgic and emotional.

Celebrated French director Jean-Pierre Jeunet directed the 2001 comedy-drama, which received recognition both critically and commercially. “Amélie” is a beautiful movie depicting a story of a lonely woman, who is not great at having conversations, but she is probably the most inspiring introvert character of all.

When they connect, the connect is special. An introvert is letting you know they’re interested in connecting with you beyond a superficial level. They’re displaying a level of intimacy and vulnerability that not many people get to see, like “The Station Agent”  film directed by Tom McCarthy, which revolves around the life of Fin, a man with dwarfism, who lives in solitude in an abandoned train depot.

Following a personal tragedy, Fin retired from his job and chose to live alone, but he finds himself growing closer to his neighbors each day and the bond that is displayed is beautiful.

We all dream of having a partner with whom we can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart.

This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re having a bad day or are homesick, you know who can make you feel better.

I don’t have friends,Watson”

Yep, You’re right. I’m talking about the famous character ever made, not only in books but also in the screen- Sherlock.

In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face and bet they are charming.

Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention.While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.

Movies and television shows often portray introverts this way.  From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular.

Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like and Can’t Buy Me Love where a bet happens over making geek introverts into popular extroverts.

Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are.

Be you all introverts, believe me you make best of friends, amazing partners and super caring siblings.

 

How to speak about your mental condition #H #AtoZChallenge

OK. We have made a lot of hoopla around mental health and the forms of illness and we will continue that.

But the question that i was asked by a reader was how to speak about it. And gosh, that is important and we completely missed it.

If you recognize symptoms of any common mental health problem and are worried, or if you feel that something isn’t right but you can’t put your finger on why, we recommend that you speak to someone in family, someone who cares and then therapist.

Some of the most frequently experienced symptoms include:

  • loss of apetite
  • feeling low or constantly anxious or worrying
  • thinking negative thoughts about yourself
  • irritability or moodiness
  • finding it harder than usual to concentrate
  • not enjoying your life as much as you once did
  • finding day-to-day life difficult (not feeling up to washing or eating, for example)
  • trouble sleeping, or sleeping too much
  • seeing or hearing things that other people do not see or hear

One thing is important- You may be generally sad and not depressed even with these symptoms, it’s the persistence of these symptoms over a period of time that is crucial.

It can be daunting to speak to someone that you may not know well about your mental health, but most people find that speaking  can make all the difference to their lives.

And this “Speaking Up” is not a cake walk and we know that. Make some pointers before you speak to your therapist:

  • Be patient, the treatment mat take time.
  • Communication is the key- Your doctor is not a mind reader or an astrologer, communicate clearly about your life events or thought process so that he/ she can come up with proper diagnosis.
  • State your expectations and understand his limitations
  • Be a good person with timely follow back.
  • Remember that diagnosing and treating depression takes time and expertise, so if your goal is to make your symptoms disappear immediately, you’re likely to be disappointed
  • Treat him/her as a friend rather than a doctor.

Speaking Cinema

One movie that hugely impressed me with a patient- therapist relationship is Dear Zindagi. This  exploration of the inner life of a young successful, ambitious woman confused with relationships (Sounds familiar……Na?) is fairly unprecedented in Bollywood. In Tanu Weds Manu 2, we do get a chance to see Tanu’s  bipolar struggles. But the shabby treatment of the movie and a predictable attempt to make it comedy with punchlines like

“Tu Kaun hai be?”

“Main kandha hun”( I am that shoulder on which girls lean). ………….Oh please, give me some better jokes.

Instead, in the opening scene, Tanu manages to turn marriage counselling into an opportunity to get her husband locked up in an asylum.(WTF) In Queen, Rani needs the trip to Paris to transform herself into this confident avatar (But we ain’t geeting Paris dear ladies)

It’s soothing, therefore, to hear Khan tell Kiara that she doesn’t have to forgive her parents or confront them for abandoning her. To hear Khan tell Kiara that she is not “cheap” but “superfine” to not settle for the first man who comes down the pike. Kiara has  nightmares about society judging her for being unmarried and unloved. (Happening with definitely me).It’s even more soothing when Khan tells Kiara that no society — no matter how judgmental — doesn’t have to think well of her, as long as she thinks well of herself.

The best part about this movie is how Gauri shinde doesn’t create any love angle between therapist and Kaira. And that is how it should be, we all are left crushing over Shahrukh and a rocking chair. But what we leave behind is :

When Kaira confesses about life being an interminable musical in so far as the new singer guy in her life is concerned, SRK’s Dr Khan is quick to retort with a good humoured jibe: “Aur tumhein to dialogue pasand hain (You like dialogues)”. Or when he himself says “we are all our own teachers in the school of life” and then comes back with “ye kuchh zyada heavy ho gaya (it’s too heavy-handed)”. Oh, we love you Shahrukh.

Dear Zindagi is a breezy change in the rare movies pertaining to mental health. I will leave you with a beautiful deleted scene of Dear Zindagi.

 

When Gender is the demon……… #GenderDysphoria

First i want to make some points crystal clear before you read:

Gender dysphoria is not the same as gender nonconformity, which refers to behaviors not matching the gender norms or stereotypes of the gender assigned at birth. Examples  include occasional cross-dressing in adult men. Gender nonconformity is not a mental disorder. Gender dysphoria is also not the same being gay/lesbian.

Gender dysphoria used to be called “gender identity disorder.” But the crisis of identity associated with gender is not the mental illness,Instead, what need to be addressed are the stress, depression that come along with this dysphoria.

How to identify Gender Dysphoria

In children, these symptoms may include:

  • Consistently saying they are really a girl even though they have the physical traits of a boy or really a boy if they have the physical traits of a girl
  • Strongly preferring friends of the sex with which they identify
  • Rejecting the clothes, toys, and games typical for boys or girls
  • Refusing to urinate in the way — standing or sitting — that other boys or girls typically do
  • Saying they want to get rid of their genitals
  • Believing that even though they have the physical traits of a girl they will grow up to be a man; or believing if they have the physical traits of a boy they will still be a woman when they grow up
  • Having extreme distress about the body changes that happen during puberty

Why it’s important: Studies suggest that 71% of people with gender dysphoria end up being chronically depressed or schizophrenic and have abnormal sexual life leading to marked proportion of 23% ending in suicides.

#SpeakingCinema

Boys don’t Cry: Based on a true story, Boys Don’t Cry was adapted from the life of Brandon Teena, born Teena Brandon, a woman who chose to live her life as a man and suffered tragic consequences as a result. A true story about hope, fear, and the courage it takes to be yourself, Boys Don’t Cry is critically acclaimed love story. Brandon falls in love with a beautiful girl named Lana, and there’s an undercurrent question that’s never quite answered as we wonder if Lana knows that Brandon is still physically female.Starring Hilary Swank and Chloe Sevigny, this is an excellent, brutal and unforgettable film.

Hedwig and the angry inch : Ok i am smitten by this movie.I’ve  watched this one over and over . It’s a love story, a glam-rock musical, a comedy, a search for meaning, a journey of discovery and a story about loneliness and redemption.

This story begins with Hansel, the child of a German mother and American-soldier father, being raised behind the Berlin wall. As he grows up, his love of glamor and rock music only grows, so when he meets a handsome American soldier and falls in love, he gets his opportunity to escape from behind the wall. But in order to leave as his soldier’s bride, he must take his mother’s passport and pass a physical exam. And here Hedwig is born.

The gender-change surgery is botched, leaving him with only “an angry inch,” and eventually losing him the love of his soldier (who is pictured loving big sausages and we’ll leave it at that). Living alone in a trailer park, Hedwig is depressed and lonely. Working as a grocery checkout girl and babysitter, he falls for the young son of an officer, and they write beautiful music together. Until his boyfriend runs off with all the songs and becomes a rock star…

Daayra : In this path breaking film directed by Amol Palekar, Nirmal Pandey plays a transvestite who comes in contact with a rape victim. Helming a sensitive story, he personifies human relationships that go beyond narrow identities. So far, he is the only actor to bag a National Award for Best Actress.

Talk to us, leave a comment or mail to us if you want to have a word on abuse or mental health. Share your stories of being victorious at “The Bachpan Project.” and help people deal with their demons.

The goal is not to change how the person feels about his or her gender. Instead, the goal is to deal with the distress that may come with those feelings being non judgmental.

Love

P.

Heading to fridge when stressed?…… It may be #EatingDisorder

Most of us binge eat or head straight to refrigerator when we are stressed, but do you know this when uncontrolled may turn into a serious psychological disturbance .

According to the National Institute of Mental Health eating disorders primarily affect girls and women.1 But eating disorders aren’t just a problem for the teenage women so often depicted in the media. Men and boys can also be vulnerable. About a quarter of preadolescence cases of anorexia occur in boys, for example. And binge eating disorder strikes males and females about equally.

There are three major types of eating disorders.

People with anorexia nervosa have a distorted body image that causes them to see themselves as overweight even when they’re dangerously thin. Often refusing to eat, exercising compulsively, and developing unusual habits such as refusing to eat in front of others, they lose large amounts of weight and may even starve to death.

Individuals with bulimia nervosa eat excessive quantities, then purge their bodies of the food and calories they fear by using laxatives, enemas, or diuretics; vomiting; or exercising. Often acting in secrecy, they feel disgusted and ashamed as they binge, yet relieved of tension and negative emotions once their stomachs are empty again.

Like people with bulimia, those with binge eating disorder experience frequent episodes of out-of-control eating. The difference is that binge eaters don’t purge their bodies of excess calories.

Treatment plans often are tailored to individual needs and may include one or more of the following:

  • Individual, group, or family psychotherapy
  • Medical care and monitoring
  • Nutritional counseling
  • Medications (for example, antidepressants)

Eating Disorder In Cinema

Sharing the Secret – An amazing movie about the mother-daughter relationship  It is among those movies about eating disorders that focus on bulimia instead of anorexia. The movie is about a child psychologist Nina Moss and her daughter Beth, played by Alison Lohman, who is a slim, upbeat overachiever. However, Nina feels something is just not right with Beth, and she is right because Beth becomes bulimic, purging, and binging, which things start to get out of hand, shows the importance of family and friends in overcoming.

Unrealistic beauty standards leading to anorexia in young girls is beautifully portrayed in Dying to Dance which is  about a talented ballerina Alyssa who is asked to lose weight to stay in the game. But, soon things go out of hand and anorexia takes over her life. Another movie Thin also traces the journey of four anorexic women.

The road to eating disorder recovery starts with admitting you have a problem. This admission can be tough, especially if you’re still clinging to the belief—even in the back of your mind—that weight loss is the key to happiness, confidence, and success. Even when you finally understand this isn’t true, old habits are still hard to break.

The good news is that the eating disorder behaviors you’ve learned can be unlearned if you’re motivated to change and willing to ask for help. However, overcoming an eating disorder is about more than giving up unhealthy eating behaviors. It’s also about rediscovering who you are beyond your eating habits, weight, and body image

Remember- You all are beautiful.

Let there be no D for Depression

PC:Therese Borchard

I had plans to write Depression for the day four of A to Z Challenge and yesterday the news came of a 20 year old boy committing suicide at Mumbai. The way he live streamed his suicide on Facebook was scary. I just felt that i could reverse back the time clock and talk to him, save him and let us be around people who are struggling with depression.

Sadness is something we all experience. It is a normal reaction to difficult times in life and usually passes with a little time. When a person has depression, it interferes with daily life and normal functioning. It can cause pain for both the person with depression and those who care about him or her. Doctors call this condition “depressive disorder,” or “clinical depression.” It is a real illness. It is not a sign of a person’s weakness or a character flaw. You can’t “snap out of” clinical depression. Most people who experience depression

So i decided to give up cinematic portrayal of depression and write a poem on Depression instead, here “He” refers to depression and before you hit back at me, it’s gender neutral.

Through this poem i want just to portray how depression feels like after having talked to many people who are facing it. It’s in a girl’s narrative just because i am a girl ,

“I was lonely, sad and bitterly lost

Even weed wasn’t helping

I stalked my ex on Facebook

Went through all the chats

Something was still sinking

When one day I saw this cutie

staring at me

He waved, I said Hi

He came over and smiled

I ordered a latte and he a black coffee

I thought he seemed genuinely nice

He came over with me to my room

And I said dude that was quick

But who cares when you are

Lonely, sad and bitterly lost

He refused to leave and it felt good

It was a change when leaving was a way

I thought a little fooling around is okay

There is a thing called No strings attached

And we will be on our way

I was happy, light and smiling bright

I needed no one and was giving a tough fight

No one knew he was there

So I locked my room with him in it

And made love with promises to keep

It’s been days, months and more than a year

He is still sitting at the edge of my chair

Sarcastically smiling and whispering in my ears

“Dare you go anywhere, You are mine”

I wish someone could see him and throw him out

I feel a loose a cell every day, is he eating me out

He ties me up and forces himself upon me

I try to scream, he cups my lips

And when bruises come up, he calls it a love bite

I try to run, he pulls me back and slaps me hard

I thought he loved my long tresses

I cut them short to shoo him away

And when I turned, he was right there

Staring it me and I shivered with fear

He thrust me hard that day

As if trying to say “dare you even tried your way”

I request, I plead, I beg him to leave

He just laughs scaring the shit out of me

He keeps me awake all night, every night

Says “I will hug you” and crushes me from inside

If you are reading please help me

Talk to me, hold me, please pull me back

He is taking me to a dark tunnel

Never ever to return back”

Help people around dealing with depression, they may not say it but they need it.

Courtesy- Psych Central

 

I am participating in A to Z Challenge with http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/

 

 

It’s never too late to go back and have a happy childhood

Child sexual abuse, a cause that is very dear to my heart, it still shudders me every time i hear a story of abuse in my sessions.  Yes, i am covering it in my #SpeakUp series because it has profound psychological effects on a child’s mental state.

Child sexual abuse includes touch and non touch abuse. Some examples of touching activity include:

  • touching a child’s genitals or private parts for sexual pleasure
  • making a child touch someone else’s genitals, play sexual games or have sex putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the vagina, in the mouth or in the anus of a child for sexual pleasure

Some examples of non-touching activity include:

  • showing pornography to a child
  • deliberately exposing an adult’s genitals to a child
  • photographing a child in sexual poses
  • encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts
  • inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom
As well as the activities described above, there is also the serious and growing problem of people making and downloading sexual images of children on the Internet
(Source : Parents Protect)
The various behavioral signs that may point towards a child being abused are:
  • Becoming withdrawn or very clingy
  • Becoming unusually secretive
  • Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings and seeming insecure
  • Regressing to younger behaviours, e.g. bedwetting
  • Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
  • Outburst of anger
  • Changes in eating habits
  • New adult words for body parts and no obvious source
  • Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts
  • Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
  • Not wanting to be alone with a particular child or young person

Child Sexual Abuse in Cinema

Chilling and gruelling movie Spotlight undoubtedly tops my list of movies depicting child sexual abuse. In 2002, the Boston Globe’s Spotlight team, a group of five investigative journalists, uncovered the biggest systemic cover-up of child abuse by the Catholic Church in Boston : that priests accused of misconduct were being systematically removed and allowed to work in other parishes.

The team’s investigation brought the issue to national prominence in the US, winning them the Pulitzer prize for public service. The journalists’ story, and those who suffered at the hands of the clergy, are the subject of movie, a Hollywood movie starring Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.  Meet the amazing real and reel Spotlight team.

Mira Nair’s musical drama “Monsoon Wedding” for the first time in Bollywood took up the issue of child sexual abuse in the most bold way as possible where the movie in a run up to big fat Indian wedding comes to a point that an abuser which is a trusted family member is exposed after abusing many children. It is closer to reality in a typical joint family set up where such a revelation is first met with disbelief and then passed off under covers as “little thing”. Stand up for victims, says this movie and we say the same.

Madhur Bhandarkar’s Page 3 deals with child abuse and trafficking under the garb of child care homes but dilutes it in the process to make a cocktail of everything that happens in Page 3.

We come to Imtiaz’s yet another masterpiece about stockholm syndrome Highway where the kidnapper (Randeep Hooda) and the hostage (Alia bhatt) connect over past abuse at the hands of people they trusted and there Imtiaz makes a very important statement- Child sexual abuse occurs irrespective of class and gender. The powerful scene where Alia confronts his abuser on face shows what years of trauma and abuse may lead up to, it may lead up to the confident of confident young girls and boys vulnerable and one single support gives them courage to say a No.

Read the ever inspiring Oprah Winfrey who suffered years of abuse as a child.

“Anybody who has been verbally abused or physically abused will spend a great deal of their life rebuilding their esteem,”. Everybody has a story and your story is as equally as valuable and important as my story. My story just helped define and shape me as does everybody’s story.”

After the sessions by Bachpan Project in Bihar, 4 girls out of 9 schools have reported against Child sexual abuse by people in authority of trust. Write to us, speak to us and let’s give the Bachpan Back to our children.

 

You think your friend acts weird at times……It may be Bipolar

Courtesy- EmpowHER

When out of all the poets who received the Pulitzer — the prize awarded to those who made the biggest contributions to the human spirit — 38 percent of them were bipolar, how can we simply label it a human disorder? Think how much more they could contribute to the human spirit if they knew it could be used as a gift to humanity, instead of something to hide from humanity?

Paul Dalio, Filmamker

What is Bipolar

Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).

When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts to mania or hypomania (less extreme than mania), you may feel euphoric, full of energy or unusually irritable. These mood swings can affect sleep, energy, activity, judgment, behavior and the ability to think clearly.

Episodes of mood swings may occur rarely or multiple times a year. While most people will experience some emotional symptoms between episodes, some may not experience any.

I will quote my one amazing friend i met at poetry retreat (and dude i love you ) “I admit that i have done things that I’ve regretted. The overdose, which sent me into hospital, was one of the things. I then knew i needed help. I don’t even bother to count how many times a year I have to go through this. Medication helps keep me in some control, especially with the manic side.Mania brings with it the thought that you’re this amazing person, who can do anything, someone who deserves to be with people. The bad side of mania is that loss of control. Nights become sleepless and the thoughts running through your head won’t stop.  You smoke up, you take weed, a lot of weed and you are always energetic.”

I tried to understand Bipolar through his life, his silence, his laughter and his poetry. So let’s come to movies that show Bipolar.

I start with Mr Jones(1993) where Richard Gere playing a manic patient is shown in a romantic relationship with her Psychiatrist played by Lina Orin, too much romanticizing bipolar was what this movie did wrong with the tagline ““Everything that makes him dangerous makes her love him more.”

George Clooney’s  Michael Clayton shows exactly what Bipolar people face in real life- Their real aggression is passed off as manic episodes. With Corporate corruption being the plot, Tom Wilkinson plays a bipolar character whose claims are always dismissed as those moods of paranoia.

Director’s David.O.Russel struggle as a father seeing his bipolar son dealing with his mental condition led to the making of Oscar winner amazing movie dealing with mental illness- Silver Lining Playbooks. Bradley Cooper plays Pat Solitano, who is trying to get his life back together after a court-ordered psychiatric hospitalization. The main plotline concerns Pat’s efforts to win back his ex-wife by agreeing to enter a dance competition (it’s complicated). His dance partner, played by Jennifer Lawrence, is a sex addicted widow dealing with depression. And his father, played by Robert De Niro, has obsessive-compulsive tendencies and a gambling problem that drives a lot of the action. from De Niro to Cooper, this movie is one hell of acting.

Writer and director Maya Forbes writes the story of her own father in Infinitely Polar Bear Mark Ruffalo and Zoe Saldana play a mixed-race couple raising two daughters,The father doesn’t work because of his bipolar disorder, so the mother decides to accept a scholarship to graduate school in New York City so she can make more money for the family. The kids are left with their dad, who makes parenting mistakes making it one beautiful film.

What’s the treatment?

Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. Treatment is directed at managing symptoms which include medications from mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, anti depressants to substance abuse treatment. Visit your nearest psychiatrist and seek medical help if you face such kind of symptoms. Drop us a mail at Bachpan Project if you think your child is dealing with Bipolar disorder.

Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are. Because my bipolar went untreated for so long, I spent many years looking in the mirror and seeing a person I did not recognize or understand. Not only did bipolar rob me of my sanity, but it robbed me of my ability to see beyond the space it dictated me to look. I no longer could tell reality from fantasy, and I walked in a world no longer my own.”
― Alessa Reyans, Letters from a bipolar mother.

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