You thought they existed only in movies………#AtoZThemeReveal

The suicide of Robin Williams had a profound effect on many people who felt that he was a part of their life, having grown up with him on TV.  It made people stop and think how such a vibrant and dynamic person may have suffered silently.

It is critical that persons with mental illness realize they are not alone and that there is support to help them through difficult times. Most importantly, it’s essential that they understand it is possible to cope with and recover from the grips of mental illness

Mental Health is still a word we don’t want to talk about. A taboo which prevents people from talking about their suffering.

Rather than ask why so many people are living with mental health problems, we will seek to uncover why too few of us are thriving with good mental health. With people struggling to cope with the demands of life and stuck on getting through the day, we will explore through the world of movie characters.

The characters from cinema we have loved, the characters we have hated but they come from within us. There is “A beautiful mind” between us, a “Silver linings” among a dark clouds of mental illness, a “Kartik” always calls another “Kartik” in a parallel world.

All through April, let’s spread the awareness against Mental illness and why it’s necessary to speak up through the power of cinema only on #AtoZChallenge.

Hell Yeah! That was one fucking lifetime of friendship #HappyWomen’sDay

I come from that pre millennial era where having a friend that is boy (not boyfriend) was frowned upon and I hated being among girls. I always thought I am never made of the girly stuff and that’s why for a longer time I never had girlfriends.

But today on Women’s day as I sit to write why I value my female friends over the testosterone counterpart, I get a smile on my face. Even though I say all of this now, around college, I lost almost all of my female friends. Not on purpose, of course, but I met a lot of people who just didn’t function like me.

Gosh they can be exhausting, they need to be updated with your life details every passing minute, explanations for why it was done & definitely for why it was not done, sessions of “what the hell are you doing with your life”, “You know he is interested on you na?”, the fighting, reprimanding, complaining , caring  and definitely worth keeping.

Female friendships are so caring in nature that they don’t border on being interfering, they amalgamate into your life smoothly acting as a father of the bride when you date someone, giving a shoulder to cry if you are depressed, never ever make you feel overweight or less gorgeous, doubling up as a bodyguard, acting as a mother when you are sick and noticing those things about you which you never knew even existed( I have a habit of smiling while narrating why I am super tensed, my roomie tells me this).

 

My female friendships taught me that the I have some flaws and I am beautiful with that, that I can cry if I want to and there is always a hug if nothing else matters, that you don’t only take care of your PMS but of your buddies too, that you gossip about everyone else and dare listen a word about your friend, that what she likes is equal to what you would be liking and whomever she hates enters automatically in your “To murder” list.


They taught me that the first step to a successful friendship is to accept your friend as she is. That means no judgement. You let them be who they are. Whatever your girlfriend offers, take it. Whoever she is, accept it. She isn’t a project. Neither are you.

They taught me that we must be honest and vulnerable. It’s the only way to build a bond that lasts after the granddaughter walks down the aisle. My best friend knows that my birthday is my Personal National Holiday.

My girlfriends gave me an important life lesson- we must celebrate each other’s triumphs. Be a cheerleader. If cheering isn’t your thing, be a boxer. Help her knock out obstacles with words of support, love and encouragement. Use your strengths to balance out her weaknesses.

To all the amazing women in my life labelled as friends. A very Happy Women’s day to all you phenomenal women in my life. Remember when the final chapter of life is about to be closed, I wish to be around you all, taking a shot and saying

Hell Yeah! That was one fucking lifetime of friendship”.

Love

P.

 

Ending this post with a beautiful message from my friend whom i never met but really cherish:

Dear Ms. Gandhi: For a change, let’s ask women who actually carry the child in womb

Dear Maneka Gandhi

This February you  wrote to Health Minister Nadda saying that all hospitals be asked to declare the number of cesareans they performed every month. Gandhi also called for the “naming and shaming” of gynecologists who performed C-sections on women “for no reason at all except money”.

I read your statement saying: “I would like all women in India to get together and start protesting because a cesarean for a woman is very invasive, and it turns a natural delivery into something that is an unnecessary operation.” Behind all this concern lies the deep rooted crisis that women all over the world are facing. A bunch of men sit at oval office and declare abortion illegal. Why are you telling women to chase after so-called “natural deliveries”. Why are women being kept out of the loop of the whole decision making process that concerns their uterus.

Maternal mortality is nothing short of an epidemic. Worldwide, hundreds of thousands of women die from complications during pregnancy or childbirth each year – that’s one woman dying every 90 seconds – and millions more are left with life-altering disabilities. In some countries, one in seven women dies in pregnancy or childbirth. It was estimated that in 2015, roughly 303,000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth. Almost all of these deaths occurred in low-resource settings, and most could have been prevented.These women aren’t dying because the health community doesn’t know how to prevent their deaths; they are dying because the world is failing to help.

When health insurance was provided through smart cards all that was done was to perform hysterectomy on women as young as 18. A scam is uncovered, there is hulla and the accused are let free be it Chattisgarh or Odisha. But we can’t get hold of them.

Women die as a result of complications during and following pregnancy and childbirth. Most of these complications develop during pregnancy and most are preventable or treatable.

Other complications may exist before pregnancy but are worsened during pregnancy, especially if not managed as part of the woman’s care and no efforts are being taken to address the problem comprehensively through skill development or infrastructure development.

However, saying that the high number of C-sections is due to the fact that modern independent women are irresponsible, they don’t want to adjust and want shortcuts to giving birth is bullshit. The day we hit puberty and this monthly “aunt” comes home with excruciating pain we are told thatf that pain is something that women need to go through for a birth to be ‘natural’ and our body is just preparing us for that.

There are many complications….err medical complications that require C-sections if we wish to save two lives, saving lives should come as natural to us as child birth. Because we believe pain is a natural biological burden that women have to bear, whether or not it involves motherhood, we make them believe that every pain is natural.

But Ms. Gandhi, all you choose to is glorify the puritan form of Natural birth. No doubt it should be encouraged as it’s most natural and healthy way to deliver a child but isn’t as a policy maker you have bigger responsibilities of addressing the gaps coming in way of “Right To safe motherhood and contraception” rather than just giving them some preaching.

For a change, how about shifting the global burden of family planning from women to men. Not a single man, who was a part of the sample in the National Family Health Survey, had opted for vasectomy in 2015, suggesting that women continue to bear the burden of family planning. The latest survey reveals that while 50.7 per cent women went for sterilization, merely 0.4 per cent men opted for it.

How about some gyaan there too.

Why should boys have all the fun.

Love

A woman who won’t take pain and bullshit.

 

P.S- Writing this post for International Women’s day. We are #WomenOfBlogging